Author Topic: Terrible jokes here  (Read 685 times)

0 Members and 0 Guests are viewing this topic.

A Blitzkrieg of Butts

  • Sr. Member
  • ****
  • Posts: 326
  • Dapperness +5/-4
  • Attacking you with butts since 2016
  • Location: St. Paul
    • View Profile
Terrible jokes here
« on: October 26, 2016, 07:16:04 am »
Don't know if made already, but whatever.

Post yer good, bad, amazing, terrible, corny, and punny jokes here.

Here's some!
What do you need to catch a microbial fish?
A Leeuwenhoek!

Did you hear about the guy that robbed the bank with a plunger?
He was shit outta luck!

That's all I got for now, post away fourumites!
Every tuba you touch melts into cats.

How the fuck do you dream in ASCII?

Quote from: Sir Loin of Beef
Are we in need of an unfortunate accident involving a sound system and an errant 120mm shell?

Share on Facebook Share on Twitter


ApatheticExcuse

  • God Teir
  • *
  • Posts: 1,044
  • Dapperness +2/-3
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2016, 01:17:10 pm »
Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are both on a boat. It starts sinking, and it's almost certain that if they stay there, they will drown. Who gets saved?

Spoiler (hover to show)
Gone. Cheers guys.

Wheel-Son

  • POST LORD
  • **********
  • Posts: 2,312
  • Dapperness +15/-53
  • Location: i dunno man above ground
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #2 on: November 03, 2016, 08:22:11 pm »
What's a difference between a Boy Scout and a Jewish person?

Spoiler (hover to show)
I am no longer legitimately considering leaving this forum

Forrest

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 925
  • Dapperness +20/-3
  • Gof'nn Hupadgh Shub-Niggurath
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2016, 03:53:28 am »
Why was the five year old from a third world country crying?
Spoiler (hover to show)

Why'd Little Johnny fall down the stairs?
Spoiler (hover to show)

If we're going low, WE'RE GOIN' REAL LOW.
Area Record 1782:
Date: 08/29/██

Event: An elderly human feeding itself to a group of kakapo. Did not express pain, appeared ambivalent.

saltmummy626

  • Admin
  • POST LORD
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,463
  • Dapperness +20/-7
  • Lord of Gulgatha
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2016, 08:30:16 pm »
I used to know a shitton of dead baby jokes, but I forgot them as time and circumstance never provided an opportunity to use them.

Something I do remember though...

What's the difference between michael jackson and a shopping bag? (terribly out of date, I know)

Spoiler (hover to show)
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

Noctifer-De-Mortem

  • Lurkifer
  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *
  • Posts: 1,826
  • Dapperness +20/-25
  • G.M.O Combat Cyborg: Mk.Alpha 5.3
  • Location: 7th Dimension
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #5 on: November 05, 2016, 07:08:24 am »
A Nazi walked into a BAR...
Quote from: Soviet Commissar (COD WaW)
Abandon you post, abandon your homes, abandon all hope!

Quote from: Alice Margatroid
Bitch,get out of the way!

Quote from: Fujiwara no Mokou link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIDxZMMjNTA
With the power of a phoenix I can proudly say everything is hand-grilled!!!

Quote from: Liberty Prime
Obstruction detected. Composition: Titanium alloy supplemented by photonic resonance barrier. Probability of mission hindrance...0%!

...I wish for airborne rabies.

Granted. A giant box full of bats appears on your doorstep...

ApatheticExcuse

  • God Teir
  • *
  • Posts: 1,044
  • Dapperness +2/-3
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2016, 02:21:16 pm »
A Nazi walked into a BAR...

Ok, I giggled a little at that.

It's hard to explain puns to kleptomaniacs because they always take things literally.

What's the best time to go to the dentist?

Spoiler (hover to show)

How do you find Will Smith after a blizzard?

Spoiler (hover to show)

What's the difference between a Lambo and a porcupine?

Spoiler (hover to show)
Gone. Cheers guys.

Noctifer-De-Mortem

  • Lurkifer
  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *
  • Posts: 1,826
  • Dapperness +20/-25
  • G.M.O Combat Cyborg: Mk.Alpha 5.3
  • Location: 7th Dimension
    • View Profile
Re: Terrible jokes here
« Reply #7 on: November 05, 2016, 02:30:18 pm »
Whats the difference between adolf hitler an olymlic runner?
Spoiler (hover to show)
Quote from: Soviet Commissar (COD WaW)
Abandon you post, abandon your homes, abandon all hope!

Quote from: Alice Margatroid
Bitch,get out of the way!

Quote from: Fujiwara no Mokou link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIDxZMMjNTA
With the power of a phoenix I can proudly say everything is hand-grilled!!!

Quote from: Liberty Prime
Obstruction detected. Composition: Titanium alloy supplemented by photonic resonance barrier. Probability of mission hindrance...0%!

...I wish for airborne rabies.

Granted. A giant box full of bats appears on your doorstep...

 

NOCTIFER IS A FAGGOT