Utterly Mad

((I've shamelessly stolen this idea from something I saw on the Bay 12 forums. The idea is simple - this is a short story driven RP where any actions the character, who is a super badass, takes are fantastically successful, no matter how improbable or absurd. The rules are pretty simple:

1. Anyone can suggest actions. You can also just +1 someone else's suggestion or add to it.
2. Suggestions can be something that would be incredibly implausible in real life, but can't break reality/physics/time - you can't say "We invent an AK-47 and fuck everyone up" or "We punch the side of the giant boat and it sinks while exploding".
3. Try to be a little descriptive in your suggestion. Avoid "We kill everyone" without details. Saying "We throw our stick straight through the enemy's eye, so hard that the force causes it to blow the back of his skull out. Chunks of bone land in the mouth of the guy behind him, and he chokes to death" is perfectly acceptable. You don't need to be SUPER descriptive if you don't want to - I can handle the nitty gritty of it.
4. The mechanics behind everything pretty much boil down to "that's remotely possible, sure" or "no, you can't grow wings and drop cannonballs on everyone from 10,000 feet". If it's even remotely possible, it will succeed somehow.

Besides that, do what you please. I don't really know where the story is going. I'll update at least once a day, whenever it seems like everyone who wants to weigh in has done so.

Here's the original thread, in case I haven't explained it well.))

- Some Time In The Late 1600s, The Caribbean-

Like so many other young men, you were pressed into service aboard an English warship - luckily, you weren't stuck on a leaky tub like some of the more unfortunate souls. You were stationed aboard a fine 3rd rate ship of the line, the Nelson, and for several months you participated in some very lucrative raids against the French and Spanish merchants operating in the area.

Unfortunately, all was not well on the Nelson. Though you steered clear of trouble, the Captain was a strict disciplinarian, and was not well liked by the crew. After a particularly terrible action on his part, the crew rose up in mutiny, killing the Captain and his officers, and seizing the ship. As one of the few to neither support the mutiny or try to stop it, the mutineers decided to throw you into a small launch and set you adrift, rather than execute you.

You drifted for well over a week, finally running out of supplies. Equipped with only a fishing line, a rope, and single oar, it seemed all hope was lost. Suddenly, the wind carried the sound of a ship's bell to your ears, and sails appeared on the horizon. Just as your hopes rose, you noticed a French flag billowing from the ship's mast - a small corvette, fast and reasonably well armed, and likely crewed by 30 or 40 men. It's likely they were tasked with keeping tabs on the Nelson and providing aide to her victims until a stronger fleet could be assembled to deal with her.

It makes straight for your boat, and you can see half a dozen French marines lining up on the deck, muskets ready. As "piracy" and "prisoners of war" aren't overly well-established terms even when payback isn't the first thing on a sailor's mind, it's probable that they will kill you as soon as they come along side, or at best, shortly after interrogating you. The ship is minutes away from you, and you can't possibly row away fast enough or for long enough to escape.

What do you do?