Utterly Mad

why am I renamed to siegelion.?

Read the last page or two of the thread to find out.

Even the least wicked of pisses will cripple the flow of time. The minutes crawl by because they can feel that you could piss yourself at any minute, and the moment you finally get the chance to use the bathroom, the flow of time returns to normal. I am convinced that if you sealed up your urine apparatus, you could go backwards in time. Or just detonate your bladder.

About fifteen minutes into my shift, I was transfixed by a cardboard disc. It suddenly appeared in the parking lot, and for a solid ten minutes it rolled around and between the gas pumps without falling over.

According to the U-haul van that pulled up to get fuel, camels are believed to originate in America.

Mixed drinks in a can by TGI fridays. These are for alcoholics who want to get fancy, but can't afford to go to TGI fridays. The upside is that you can keep your can in a paper bag and scream at passers by about how the jews are running everything and how satan is trying to transmit lesbian meatloaf recipes into your brain through your toaster.

It gets slow sometimes and I'm supposed to face products or clean or something productive. For the most part though, I while away to slow time listening to the radio and thinking about harpies, ceramics, and fictional economics.

The stink of shit on a person is worse than the reek of perfume.

A manager should never tell their employees that they are being watched by the management. Such statements are a great way to breed resentment in the employees.