Utterly Mad

I miss this place. I turned back on my account today and logged in for the first time in years.
I feel a palpable sense of regret for leaving. I was in a horrific mental state when this forum was live and active and I ultimately just wanted to get away from it, but things only really got worse for a time.

I am doing better now, my life is good, I have come to terms with who I am and what my life is now. I have repaired a lot of relationships and done a lot of thinking. I am not a mentally damaged teenager with serious and unresolved issues anymore, I am a vaguely functional adult who like...

I don't regret posting here, and I have been considering going through my posts here to try and get a better handle of who I was nearly a decade ago when this started, and who I have become in contrast, just to try to understand how I got here from a more unbiased, less mentally tortured perspective.

I want to thank anyone who is still reading this for being a friend to someone in a time of incredibly dire need, and I want to apologize for randomly ditching all of you in a fit of complete madness where I convinced myself that I didn't deserve anything.

God I hope I didn't post anything mega-cringe here, but I own the cringe. Let he who is without cringe cast the first stone.

I am on discord and it should be pretty easy to find me, if any of you want to talk. I want to reconnect and get things back together, but I don't really know where to start.

This is damn near a year late at this point on my part but hopefully it won't take you a year to find this: we're still around on the discord at least, or if you want to find just the derg I'm still there as just Chaosvolt.