Author Topic: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)  (Read 3373 times)

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #15 on: March 23, 2015, 09:48:26 am »
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

I'll talk to you later. I have to catch a plane.


thatsssss....... horrible.
thatsssss....... brilliant.
Thanks Peri for making me question muh sexualities once again.
Utterly Mad, where various people self identify as kitchenware.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #16 on: March 23, 2015, 04:40:28 pm »
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

I'll talk to you later. I have to catch a plane.

Too soon?  Nope.  If I can be telling mom jokes less than a year after her passing(March 18, 2014) then we can tell 9/11 jokes.
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #17 on: March 24, 2015, 06:27:50 pm »
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "Great" he said,
"I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
...
He now works for Microsoft, writing error messages.
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #18 on: March 26, 2015, 05:17:44 am »
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 jumpers: 87 stories in less than 2 minutes.
« Last Edit: March 26, 2015, 05:35:44 am by Caconym »
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #19 on: March 26, 2015, 10:54:02 pm »
What's worse than ten babies in one crib? 

One baby in ten cribs!
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #20 on: March 26, 2015, 11:03:35 pm »
What's the difference between a mallard with a cold, and a pack of ketchup? I can't remember, but your mother is a WHORE
Thanks Peri for making me question muh sexualities once again.
Utterly Mad, where various people self identify as kitchenware.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #21 on: March 28, 2015, 07:27:31 am »
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the night.

"I'm recently widowed," she explained, "and I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house."

"Not to worry," Jack said, "we'll be happy to sleep in the barn."

Nine months later, Jack got a letter from the widow's attorney. He called up his friend Bob and said, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm we stayed at?"

"Yes, I do."

"Did you happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and visit with her?"

"Yes, I have to admit that I did."

"Did you happen to use my name instead of telling her your name?"

Bob's face turns red and he said, "Yeah, I'm afraid I did."

"Well, thanks! She just died and left me everything!"
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #22 on: April 02, 2015, 12:41:03 am »
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was searching for a world where it wouldn't be questioned.
Jesus Exodus, your like an adorable little terrorball.

Rhodri

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #23 on: April 02, 2015, 12:42:41 am »
Why did the chicken cross the road? It was searching for a world where it wouldn't be questioned.
No, it was to find out if it came before the egg, or if the egg came before it.

Rhodri

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #24 on: April 02, 2015, 12:46:08 am »
So philosophical
Wow.

Much philosophical.

Very laugh.

Such funny.

Rhodri

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #25 on: April 02, 2015, 12:49:47 am »
Much doge.
I won't let you take over the forums! >:(

Rhodri

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #26 on: April 02, 2015, 12:57:11 am »
Yes i will.
No you won't for I am secretly a mutant abomination with superpowers.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #27 on: April 02, 2015, 01:03:15 am »
Yes i will.
No you won't for I am secretly a mutant abomination with superpowers.
As proven by your profile pic.
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #28 on: April 02, 2015, 04:35:57 am »
A man is walking through the woods when he comes across a young girl crying on a bench.

"What's wrong?" he asks the girl.

"My puppy ran into the lake and he couldn't get out, so my dad went in to get him and they both drowned."

The man pauses and unzips his fly.

"Well I guess today just isn't your day."


he takes off his pants, and jumps into the lake to retrieve both bodies, then stays with her until the paramedics arrive.
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #29 on: April 02, 2015, 01:55:22 pm »
[Went to a joke site to help this out a bit]

"How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?"

"Shoot him before he hits the water."
Jesus Exodus, your like an adorable little terrorball.

 

NOCTIFER IS A FAGGOT