Utterly Mad
The Pit => General Discussion => Topic started by: Six on March 30, 2015, 04:44:38 am
-
Exactly what the title says, good advice to follow.
All guaranteed to improve your life.
Don't get hit by lightning.
Try not to get hit by a car.
Don't poke your eyes out, you need them to see the car.
Stab people you don't like.
-
Shove small animals up your intestine.
-
Ah yes, the old shove a hamster in your butt.
And don't forget kids, eat your apples.
OR THE DOCTOR WILL TAKE YOUR EYES.
-
Play Bad Rats for 72 hours straight.
-
Rip out all your teeth so you can't bite your tongue.
-
Cut your hands off so you don't masturbate and get sent to hell.
-
Cut your hands off so you don't masturbate and get sent to hell.
Go ahead and cut your dick off while you're at it.
If you find a gun lying around someone's house check to make sure it's not loaded by looking down the barrel. If it's too dark to see the tip of the bullet, trying disengaging the safety and pulling the trigger.
Your immune system is like a muscle, it needs exercise to stay strong. A good way to maintain a strong immune system is licking public toilet seats.
STDs are a hoax, there really is no need to wear a condom when having sex with a hooker, even the $10/hr ones.
-
Don't commit suicide, it's bad for your health!
-
Don't open the door when there are two Military Mooks and a Robot outside it. You may have a bad time.
-
A apple a day keeps the doctor away, so throw apples at your doctor if he ever trys to arrange a checkup, and if you see him on the street be sure to take your sock off, put an apple inside it and repeatedly beat him until he bleeds, and dont be scared to scream WHOS HEALTHY NOW BITCH, seriously just go bananas :')
-
A apple a day keeps the doctor away, so throw apples at your doctor if he ever trys to arrange a checkup, and if you see him on the street be sure to take your sock off, put an apple inside it and repeatedly beat him until he bleeds, and dont be scared to scream WHOS HEALTHY NOW BITCH, seriously just go apples! :')
FTFY
-
Does the apple a day include iphones? :P
-
Does the apple a day include iphones? :P
Nope just Apple employees.
-
If you have a gun and aren't actively using it keep the safety on.
Don't be a dick to the police, don't want more tickets
Don't keep sharp objects where you can easily fall on the blades
Don...oh wait, the title was sarcastic, at least from the advice...so do the opposite of all of this.
-
People taste like pork, question every porkchop you ever ate now.
Also meat is murder, but its delicious.
Meat is murder is not a good TV show.
Alpacas are better snipers than mongooses.
-
Giant Cheese Monster created you. Any other gods are false and you should kill anyone who doesn't follow every single piece of advice in this thread.
-
Giant Cheese Monster created you. Any other gods are false and you should kill anyone who doesn't follow every single piece of advice in this thread.
Dilemma, this thread gives advice to self terminate, it also says to do other things too though. I cannot do both but I must...CONFLICT!
-
Become President of the United States
Make everyone love you
Fix America
Fuck everyone else's country up just because
-
Become President of the United States
Start to fix America
Make capitalists and/or conservatives hate you
Get assassinated by conservatives and/or capitalists
Stare at the screen and ragequit
Democracy 3 in a nutshell.
FTFY
-
Be alive, not dead.
-
Be dead, not alive.
FTFY.
-
Shove crayons up your nostrils.
-
Glue crayons to your nostrils.
-
Glue nostrils to your crayons.
FTFY.
-
Eat people.
-
Eat people's nostrils.
You really need to check your posts, notice how much times I have to FTFY?
-
No i dont, i need forum meat deep inside me.
FTFY
I WILL FIX ALL THE THINGS.
-
OH GOD YES! FASTER! HARDER!
FTFY
-
Don't be Exodus or Rhodri.
You're also being incredibly off topic in a lot of threads right now, watch that shit bruh.
-
Trying to keep it mostly on topic.
Dont sniff sulfuric acid.
-
Don't resist Rhodri's loving embrace.
-
Always resist Rhodri' loving embrace, as you can see he is a Praying Mantis, and his loving embrace will kill you.
-
Dont be myself or Rhodri... seriously.
-
Sixpost everyday.
-
eat glass
-
Let your pet Anaconda sleep with you at night
-
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so anyone who smiles is a lazy bastard. Nobody likes lazy bastards, so prove your not lazy and frown as much as you can everyday.
-
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so anyone who smiles is a lazy bastard. Nobody likes lazy bastards, so prove your not lazy and frown as much as you can everyday.
I physically forgot how to frown. I seriously can't do it...makes me sad.
-
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so anyone who smiles is a lazy bastard. Nobody likes lazy bastards, so prove your not lazy and frown as much as you can everyday.
I physically forgot how to frown. I seriously can't do it...makes me sad.
Then you are both physically and mentally lazy.
Use this emoji as a help guide. >:(
-
It takes more muscles to frown than to smile, so anyone who smiles is a lazy bastard. Nobody likes lazy bastards, so prove your not lazy and frown as much as you can everyday.
Yeah, no I am being serious I cant frown at all.
I physically forgot how to frown. I seriously can't do it...makes me sad.
Then you are both physically and mentally lazy.
Use this emoji as a help guide. >:(