Utterly Mad

The Pit => Creative Endeavors => Topic started by: RedVulnus on March 02, 2015, 05:21:53 pm

Title: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on March 02, 2015, 05:21:53 pm
This is for people to offer a bit of critique to someone, or to give tips on how to make a drawing or story better, or to discuss collaborations between the artists.
It's a place for us to share our opinions on each others works and to try and help each other get better, and to work together. So please keep it civil and constructive.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on March 02, 2015, 05:25:14 pm
Going to sticky the topic. Seems like it'd be a good idea for story reviews and tips for writing.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 02, 2015, 06:07:04 pm
This will be really useful! I'll post here to keep it in count.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on March 02, 2015, 07:44:22 pm
By any chance could someone teach me to draw or make computer art?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Hayle on March 02, 2015, 07:50:41 pm
By any chance could someone teach me to draw or make computer art?

My three suggested methods for starting art would be:

1st: Go to a library and buy a good book on art, deviantart surely has got lots of lists about good books, so I will post none in here (Also I dont know any good books)

2nd: Find a webcomic with a good art, stalk that artist and search if they ever post in progress pages, try to copy what they do.

3rd: Search youtube for tutorials, do what the video does.

And then you need lotsa practice
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on March 02, 2015, 08:01:02 pm
I should take that advice. I'd love drawing and making computer art, if I could do either.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 02, 2015, 08:09:44 pm
By any chance could someone teach me to draw or make computer art?
Ohh, practicing, videos and practicing, practicing and practicing, reference and practicing, etc!
It's not a chore, it's actually really fun. I find it delightful.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on March 02, 2015, 10:24:13 pm
See, i still mostly just make stick figures...its really sad actually.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on March 03, 2015, 12:48:03 am
WRITING ANOTHER THING LATER TONIGHT. I didn't like how Shit Outta Luck was going, honestly.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Jakers on March 05, 2015, 05:28:17 pm
Looking forward to it, Forrest!

I'm keeping Cry of The Woods on the other forum, although I may start something else here. Probably something not C:DDA related considering this ain't strictly a C:DDA forum; I'm a little curious to try writing some kind of fantasy thing right now, with all sorts of weird and wonderful races of humanoids. I'm really aiming to increase my ability to build and shape a new world that my readers can indulge in, and to keep original and interesting characters going; so consider this fantasy thing yet to be named a practice run for me.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Hibou on March 05, 2015, 06:14:31 pm
Gonna drop a couple links to writing resources I've found on tumblr over the years. I'd have more, but most of my liked posts is music. If you're ever in need of meme related music, hit me up.

Swords and sword classification (http://hsavinien.tumblr.com/post/106525412423/swords)

Medieval titles and professions, the details of lordship/ladyship, and a bunch of other medieval fluff information. (http://octoswan.tumblr.com/post/101192035331/mark-gaytits-some-resources-for-those-writing)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 05, 2015, 06:29:54 pm
I don't think this is any kind of resource, but i think this blog could help to any writers or drawing artists around here.

http://chrisguillebeau.com/

It helped me in bad days. I haven't entered in a really good while, but the posts i read (from years behind i guess) were really good and helpful, basically brought my mood up and made me feel really inspired.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on March 05, 2015, 07:12:51 pm
I can offer myself as an ok gun resource if anyone has questions and can't find answers or doesn't have time to find them online.

@Forrest Looking forward to that too. For some reason I just find your writing style very appealing.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Siege-Loli on March 05, 2015, 07:38:39 pm
I can offer myself as an ok gun resource if anyone has questions and can't find answers or doesn't have time to find them online.

@Forrest Looking forward to that too. For some reason I just find your writing style very appealing.
Did you ever end up reading Dust? If so, what did you think of it?

I plan on redoing it soon since I've been able to better focus my writing style better.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on March 05, 2015, 07:43:43 pm
I can offer myself as an ok gun resource if anyone has questions and can't find answers or doesn't have time to find them online.

@Forrest Looking forward to that too. For some reason I just find your writing style very appealing.
Did you ever end up reading Dust? If so, what did you think of it?

I plan on redoing it soon since I've been able to better focus my writing style better.

I was planning to, then my girlfriend had a kid and I got sidetracked with that and the hospital and everything. Good reminder, will start it now I think.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on March 05, 2015, 08:08:36 pm
I'm thinking about writing an encyclopedia style run up of a fictional universe, but I can't decide which. A lore encyclopedia, like the Silmarillion. So, Battletech or The Elder Scrolls.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Hayle on March 05, 2015, 08:48:17 pm
I'm thinking about writing an encyclopedia style run up of a fictional universe, but I can't decide which. A lore encyclopedia, like the Silmarillion. So, Battletech or The Elder Scrolls.

Neither, make your own universe. I can tell you that making and revising the Dark Cobaltbleu universe is actually very entertaining.

Between those two however, I'll chose The Elder Scrolls, its actually got a lot of background stuff that nobody usually plays attention too aka the godhead and related topics
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 05, 2015, 08:50:46 pm
(http://img2.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130307042052/mspaintadventures/images/thumb/3/31/Caliborn_worldbuilding.png/500px-Caliborn_worldbuilding.png)

Making up your own universe is awesome! Especially when you start making the culture and the details and history, oh yessss.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on March 05, 2015, 08:55:44 pm
I'll do both. I world build all of the time, got a good SciFi one going. Elder scrolls actually has incredibly intricate lore, that you have to be lke me, read every in game book, explore every nook and cranny, and do every quest. Its actually really well written for a videogame back story.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on March 05, 2015, 09:05:35 pm
Create your own universe, post the cannon, then hold a contest with cookies as a prize seeing who can write the best story/host the best RP/whatever in that setting.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 05, 2015, 10:14:14 pm
Create your own universe, post the cannon, then hold a contest with cookies as a prize seeing who can write the best story/host the best RP/whatever in that setting.

STORY YES.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on March 09, 2015, 02:32:32 pm
Hey, speaking of original cannon and contests.

1. I'm bringing The Highway back as a series of short stories while I work on an actual RPG book of the game... or you know, get up off my lazy ass and program the damn thing. One story might focus on the actions of a small tribe, while other stories could be over the top cheese fests (example: Robbing Fort Knox from the Remnants of the military).

2. I think we should have writing and drawing contests, I can go ahead and put up a sticky thread for people to submit what they write. In a similar vein to the SCP-wiki we could have a deadline, then people could vote on which story wins.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on March 09, 2015, 02:51:53 pm
Make it so number two.

seriously, I like the idea of having a competition. Might have to set a genre in advance though.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on March 12, 2015, 03:25:56 pm
Is it okay to post creative writing stuff here as well? I've been working on this short story thingy and I'm looking to make it a stronger piece. It's not near completion, but as of now I'd like to have what I do have done as solid as a rock.

Would anyone be interested in giving it an edit?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on March 12, 2015, 03:28:15 pm
*Flails arms*

Yes please!
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wayward Pilgrim on March 12, 2015, 03:46:16 pm
Any creative stuff is cool by me, music, writing,  art or whatever. I can try giving a little input.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Jakers on March 13, 2015, 06:46:27 am
Is it okay to post creative writing stuff here as well? I've been working on this short story thingy and I'm looking to make it a stronger piece. It's not near completion, but as of now I'd like to have what I do have done as solid as a rock.

Would anyone be interested in giving it an edit?

Please do! I like your writing style; it's very engaging and fun to read to see what techniques you've used. If you share it on Google Drive, I'd be glad to add some speaker notes sometime.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on March 13, 2015, 05:14:27 pm
Is it okay to post creative writing stuff here as well? I've been working on this short story thingy and I'm looking to make it a stronger piece. It's not near completion, but as of now I'd like to have what I do have done as solid as a rock.

Would anyone be interested in giving it an edit?

Please do! I like your writing style; it's very engaging and fun to read to see what techniques you've used. If you share it on Google Drive, I'd be glad to add some speaker notes sometime.

Awh, thanks! I'll post it later!
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on March 16, 2015, 05:15:11 am
Yeah, alrighty, right now just trying to think something up. I dunno, I'm feeling a little more engaged with real life, I'll probs just write some stuff and stay in Fura's RP for a while.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on March 21, 2015, 06:59:32 pm
Update on that thing I was supposed to post:

The most recent version I have (V.6) isn't exactly where I feel comfortable sending it, so I'm waiting to get some feedback from a peer reviewer in the Writer's Guild, I'll make some edits to that, and then post it up here when I feel good about it!


UPDATE X2: Just the feedback, so I'll be editing that tonight and changing a few things, adding some things in, and then except a google doc!
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on March 24, 2015, 12:06:46 am
Here it is: AMY!

https://drive.google.com/file/d/0Bwwyn7uzKNfiODFNc1d1dHl1ZTg/view?usp=sharing

You should be able to view/comment, not sure if that works well or not for giving your edits and positive criticism.

Note: Story is still a work in progress and what is seen here is not the final product. All the work is copyright of me, and if you use something from here without giving me credit, I will possible feel violated.

Also, you may be wondering what this story is about, so here is an introductory page so you understand what the premise is:

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1cZDBABmGlrTQlHCVu7NRzztXSZhy1U70HIquF8Ob7hM/edit?usp=sharing

Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on March 24, 2015, 12:09:50 am
Awesome, Fura! I'll totally read this later this week :v

@Forrest Looking forward to that too. For some reason I just find your writing style very appealing.
AND OH MY GOD I NEVER SAW THIS. WHAT. REALLY. AWESOME.
I promise I will actually write something. Maybe after March.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on March 24, 2015, 09:40:09 pm
Hm, I've got an odd idea.
Would anybody be interested in a shared world thread?
Like essentially we collectively decide on setting(IE Fantasy, Futuristic, apocalypse, to name a few), get down a rough time line (well maybe), figure out the major details, and then we all write stuff in that world. I'm probably not thinking about something, but I think this gets the general idea across, and I think it'd be interesting to see how several different people tackle the same setting in the same world.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on March 24, 2015, 09:41:00 pm
That would be really awesome.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on March 25, 2015, 04:45:08 am
Hm, I've got an odd idea.
Would anybody be interested in a shared world thread?
Like essentially we collectively decide on setting(IE Fantasy, Futuristic, apocalypse, to name a few), get down a rough time line (well maybe), figure out the major details, and then we all write stuff in that world. I'm probably not thinking about something, but I think this gets the general idea across, and I think it'd be interesting to see how several different people tackle the same setting in the same world.

I'd be down.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on March 25, 2015, 07:51:45 pm
Alright, I'll post up a thread then so we can get started figuring things out.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on March 25, 2015, 09:20:45 pm
May be writing a story here...for the glory of the Empire!
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on April 04, 2015, 11:48:16 pm
So...any critiques? I think I've written a good enough volume of new stuff for people to have some kind of critique on my writing.
Really just looking for input or suggestions on how to write better.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on April 05, 2015, 12:01:46 am
Overall Vulnus I like your writings. A couple things though.
One:There are very slight grammatical errors such as miss spelling unconscious.
Two: Im not really sure where your stories are going, they seem to have little in common with eachother.
Three: The last piece you wrote felt very cliche. Not necessarily a terrible thing but I didnt understand why someone would hide an operation only to bring up no resistance whatsoever and actually off themselves...just seemed a bit pointless.

Anyhow over all it is alright tho.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on April 05, 2015, 09:13:46 am
Thanks for the feedback, it's much appreciated. I'll admit I screw up spelling far more often then I'd like.

going to address number two though
The only consistent story I've been writing is the Syndicate, which I keep in that thread of mine like the rest of my writing. I just decided to keep a single thread rather then clog this section with a whole lot of threads for stories I'd probably only write on piece for. However when I'm not writing a Syndicate piece I'll put it in the post that it's not the Syndicate.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on April 05, 2015, 04:08:38 pm
Gotcha, that makes logic.

Someone wanna give me critiques for Fortress?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on April 05, 2015, 05:41:02 pm
When i get time t read them, both your and Vulnus' stories, i'll say what i think! Busy as hell now though.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on April 06, 2015, 06:18:58 pm
I even updated it. Any critiques?

Please? Cri.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 06, 2015, 06:29:42 pm
1. I really hope we get a chapter fleshing out all the characters a bit more, they have names and faces but they feel like the serve a purpose to the story. (but don't take that from me, I spend more my time making "set-dressing" then actual characters)

2. I like the atmosphere of the fortress, don't be afraid to take a moment to describe the scene. (again I like to make set dressing) Example: The medicinal bay stunk of blood and decay, not really a shock since that stone-faced "Head of Medicine" was not really keen on 'bedside manner'. If it worked, he'd do it, no matter how messy or painful. That shocking reminder of which echoed out from the doors and from behind privacy curtains, as his patients wailed in pain or whimpered hoping that their 'doctor' would fix them so they could leave this wretched place. What didn't help was how bright it was here, it felt like the sun was constantly shining in this sterile place, but without the warmth. [Pretty much described the place as a hospital, run by a guy without any emotions, and that it was brightly lit but cold]

3. This is more a personal thing and I know I'm guilty of this, but try and make the posts longer. You probably have a very busy life, but don't be afraid to postpone a few chapters until you got a meaty chunk to post. If you just give regular updates of where you are on the current chapter then it'd be just fine... but that may just be me being greedy.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Exodus on April 06, 2015, 06:33:33 pm
1. Sure, I'll throw in some physical descriptions and some more backhround next chapter.
2. I love this suggestion. I will try to make setting more descriptive.
3. I suppose I could try longer posts.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 06, 2015, 06:50:23 pm
1. Sure, I'll throw in some physical descriptions and some more backhround next chapter.
2. I love this suggestion. I will try to make setting more descriptive.
3. I suppose I could try longer posts.

1. SWEET

2. SWEET

3. SWEEEETOTHWABIOF:B EAOIU:BTOE GBOPWAB FPIETB){PT #HYB[h9a0y5aoieybh4'ORD
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on April 07, 2015, 12:46:59 am
During my away time, has anyone given Amy a read? Any notes, critiques, etc? Gave it quite a long time, but still haven't gotten anything.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 16, 2015, 09:42:59 pm
Alright this had been dead with tips for awhile so I'll give a piece of helpful advice:

Never ever, ever, take on more then you need to or do so in private so you know exactly 'what' you want to work on. Why? Well for one you'll hate/loathe what you're working on at the time, you'll stop updating if its an RP, or worse you'll scrap it all together from burnout. Evidence? Look at the Hotline Miami RP and 12th Harvest, its only been a few days and I already got writers block along with another idea I'd like to try out.

But people like Hotline Miami RP and not so much 12th Harvest (except for Furaotic), so you end up wanting to kill one and do the one you really want to do. On top of that I'm still working on and rewriting my SCP tale, and that's turned into a "I like it but how can I do it better?" fest that will probably lead to its demise because all my rough drafts and "webs" slowly decay (at least in my eyes) into a pile of shit that I want to toss in the trash and forget. Then finally I've been scouring for ideas for an SCP.

What has all this led too? A massive amount of nothing, 12th Harvest hasn't gotten an update since I posted races and I really want to work on it, Hotline Miami RP has taken off (somewhat) and I don't know what to do with it- *going to stop here before it devolves into a bitch fest*

My advice: Don't work on too much all at once or you'll hate everything you make. If you really want to keep yourself busy, work on one/two worlds at a time, if you think of a new idea that you want to flesh out into its own (say a new storyline or idea), try to see if you can fit it into an existing world to make it better. If it doesn't fit then save it to work on later. You won't go into burnout mode, and you wont hate everything you touch.



Also my advice if you're really suffering from writers block, try and read or watch something to get ideas (or take a day off despite protests). I took a break from everything today and just read and binge watched some movies. I feel a hellavua lot more creative and imaginative then I was yesterday.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 16, 2015, 10:51:39 pm
And by "writers block". Do you mean Bloodborne aj?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 16, 2015, 10:56:48 pm
Hey, bloodborne is great.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 16, 2015, 11:01:11 pm
I know peri... I know...
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 16, 2015, 11:06:58 pm
I'm stuck at the Shadows of Yharnam, but I don't care because they are SO COOL
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 16, 2015, 11:34:13 pm
And by "writers block". Do you mean Bloodborne aj?

Actually no, I play Bloodborne in short bursts because of a hard boss that infuriates me to no end. I'm actually out of ideas, and the only fresh one I got currently came from a dream about this creepy forest that is filled with evil creatures and living dolls made out of tree bark; said forest is being added into 12th Harvest.

Hotline Miami RP is actually out of me waiting for Peri and just out of sheer laziness of not wanting to write. I've actually just been reading books and binge watching movies people keep talking about (I watched Babadook, Robocop, and started Old Boy today. They're all really good movies.)

I'm stuck at the Shadows of Yharnam, but I don't care because they are SO COOL

Stay behind the rocks, lighting works well against them, learn how to use the bloodstones to your advantage as they can buff your weapons with more then just physical damage. I solo'd them and ended up beating them by tanking damage and staying behind that large rock. Take out the Katana ****er first, then the dual swordsmen next, then finish it off by murdering the Pyromancer.

Best weapon that outputs the most damage is the Hunter's Ax, there's a spin attack move (charge up the R2 attack fully) in the 'R1' form that can stunlock enemies when timed right. I used that and that Holy Great Sword with a lighting bloodstone.

They're tough, and you kinda have to cheese the fight by playing peekaboo by luring behind that rock. Also stock up on blood vials, and if you saved the **** and asked for her blood, make sure to use the wh0re's blood (forgot her name, I think its Arianna) since it gives you the stamina boost.

Honestly after playing with a ton of the other weapons, I can say that the Cane Sword is mainly for style points. It looks sexy as **** with the students uniform and with my characters mutton chops and curly mustache (imagine him as a manlier HP Lovecraft), he looks like some kinda old time-y boxer that went to Harvard.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 16, 2015, 11:40:10 pm
I killed the plague doctor chick on accident, and I'm using her twin swords. OMG the stunlock on those. S scaling in skill and like no stamina cost. And the Shadows are so cool, I feel bad for killing them. Also, there names are Jack Candles, Samurai Jack, and Jack of Blades.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 16, 2015, 11:44:41 pm
Also the Plague doctor in darkest dungeon is female... Just so you know.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 16, 2015, 11:44:50 pm
I killed the plague doctor chick on accident

Waifu no....

(http://i.imgur.com/Y87VmjM.png)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 16, 2015, 11:45:32 pm
Also the Plague doctor in darkest dungeon is female... Just so you know.

(http://i.imgur.com/NOECI0s.gif)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 16, 2015, 11:46:23 pm
AJ nuu...
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on April 16, 2015, 11:51:12 pm
AJ nuu...

Hey man my thing is the mysterious and unknowable. If mystery was a woman, I'd... take her out to dinner and then be told, "Can we just like, be friends... I mean you're cool and all. But you remind me of my brother."

Then I go home, put a gun in my mouth and end my pitiful existence. Wake up from my weird ass dream, write something about it, then scrap it because the idea was stupid.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 16, 2015, 11:54:22 pm
I killed the plague doctor chick on accident

Waifu no....

(http://i.imgur.com/Y87VmjM.png)
That cane whip has a LOT of aoe if you aren't careful in the fight with the yellow guy in Gascoignes old boss arena. Anyway, great armor with a GREAT weapon. 500 damage in 4 seconds if you get stunned by the first hit. It combos well in its transformed state. Like I said, the shadows names are Candlejack (Screw you this is my forum), Samurai Jack, and Jack of blades. That being Mr candle flamethrower, Mr swordsman, and Mr two swords and throws fireballs respectively. Good thing I brought my

{DID YOU REALLY THINK YOU COULD ESCAPE LIKE THAT}
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 20, 2015, 11:50:06 pm
I'm thinking about making a Video game battle Royale collaboration thing. I have a few characters already set up. How's everyone with the idea?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on April 20, 2015, 11:50:57 pm
If you could explain it a bit more I'd probably be up for it.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 20, 2015, 11:57:12 pm
Well there's 24 dudes and dudetes and they all must die. And it's kinda like the hunger games except there's no romance bullschmeckles. And there's no workaround for having more then one player surviving. Either one survives or no one survives.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on April 21, 2015, 12:01:40 am
As someone who's never been interested in the Hunger Games I still felt this adqueately(...fucking spelling) explained it. Yah I'd be up for it.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 21, 2015, 12:04:43 am
Damn do you read... any popular book?

I'll get it posted tomorrow.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on April 21, 2015, 12:06:54 am
Majority of my reading is star wars, star trek, and an assortment of whatevers at the local half price books.
Also, I had heard the premise of the Hunger Games and felt it wasn't too interesting, then they made the movies and I just kind of forgot about it...
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Bubbadoo on April 21, 2015, 06:20:27 pm
Majority of my reading is star wars, star trek, and an assortment of whatevers at the local half price books.
Also, I had heard the premise of the Hunger Games and felt it wasn't too interesting, then they made the movies and I just kind of forgot about it...
Hunger Games was an OK series I read the whole series, that final bits of the last books felting really ****ing retarded though.

For example:
Spoiler: Legit spoilers (hover to show)

Maybe I am just angry because the Katniss/Gale ship wasn't cannon... because he is working away so much? oookayyyy.

EDIT: I am sooo sorry for this rant.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 26, 2015, 11:32:18 pm
Okay. What's everybody's opinions on mah story, Video Game Battle Royale? Rate it from "It's kay" to "MUH TRIGGAHS"
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 26, 2015, 11:33:15 pm
Okay. What's everybody's opinions on mah story, Video Game Battle Royale? Rate it from "It's kay" to "MUH TRIGGAHS"
Its Kay. Not the worse thing, not the best. Pretty good for a first story here though.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on April 26, 2015, 11:39:30 pm
(http://media.giphy.com/media/LH4yPm9OhgHEk/giphy.gif)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on April 26, 2015, 11:44:20 pm
(http://media.giphy.com/media/LH4yPm9OhgHEk/giphy.gif)
yes.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Stopsignal on May 05, 2015, 06:34:01 pm
Some of you may have seen this before, but anywaysssss

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1vPQXSm4egG_0O197ELiTYPCj5aw3Tf6l-I4OrwaOvUk

There are a lot of stories i donde there. Maybe you'd like to review a few? I know i got a lot of misspells, after all i am not a natve english speaker. Mostly story reviews, if you can! Or anything. To be honest putting some time into reading all those things is enough for me, hahhaa.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on May 05, 2015, 11:17:38 pm
The Wait
Okay, seems interesting. An interesting writing style that leaves the reader wondering what exactly is going on, and it keeps the attention of the read(me in this case) while giving few if any real details. Overall I liked it and found it interesting enough to read entirely, and it left me to wonder what was going on. Not always a bad thing, and in my opinion it's a good thing in this case.

La'oss
Again, very good but for different reasons. With out much elaboration the reader easily understands that the people of this world are ruled by Gods who use the people to wage wars and that the world is a very dangerous place.. It sets up a grim tone and mood. Short but it does a good job of setting the mood and feeling for the world.

Expedition
Again, there isn't much detail, but that helps the mood. It leaves a lot to the imagination of the reader and allows them to imagine what exactly happened. There's a shift from one mood to another and I found the transition was quite good and actually added to the overall story.


Okay, so there's reviews for the first three stories in that document. Hope this is helpful.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on May 31, 2015, 02:16:57 am
Should I do an Intermission in Fallout: Dusts of Man, or continue with the main trio's debauchery?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on July 18, 2015, 08:05:33 pm
Now, none of you are wondering, but to humor myself, I've been gone for so long for a good reason.

Reason being: CREATIVE WRITING.

That and I got a job. And summer homework. Anyone from Highway: Icarus Rising remember that? That was like, last year this time! Holy fuck time flies! R.I.P everyone in that RP. R.I.P CDDA forum.

Anyways, the last time I posted something I think that approximately two people read it. (@Dusty, thanks babe.) That was like... thirty-four pages long?

Well. Guess. What.

I have sixty-four page manuscript of a story that I'm calling "PULP".

Wh aa t the fu ck is PULP?


PULP is a combination of three major stories, Amy, SLAM, and Jak. The three stories, though incredibly different, are all connected. PULP isn't just about those stories though. There are various other short stories mixed into everything. Where one story takes a break, the next one jumps in and we continue on that line. This process is repeated until the book ends, which the book has not because it's still a work in progress.

(For those of you that remember, SLAM was a short story that I decided to expand and Amy was a story I'd been working on for some time, but decided to add all these stories together in a connecting story line. It's fucking cool.)


Wh y y R u posting this?

I've been working hard on this project and so far it's my longer piece of unfinished fiction. I'm not necessarily looking for anyone to give feedback, I'm just posting it here so y'all can get a good fun read in.

There ar e a bUnch of Storeis, but GEnre?

Each story is an entirely different genre. In fact, if one story didn't appeal to you, you could skip it entirely and the story still functions. Meaning if you loved SLAM, you could skip both Amy and Jak to read that. As for specific genres: SLAM - Science Fiction/Cyber Punk/Neon Pink Bubble Gum Pop  Amy - Surreal Horror  Jak - Grimdark Fantasy. The other short stories I will not reveal because who gives a shit about those???

R i P my EYES out! Where can Ir ead this?

RIGHT HERE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1YtzfFnHtfRbmIBLFTlXCDGVU7D-z1TdgMwxx3-bC7wM/edit?usp=sharing
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on July 18, 2015, 10:14:58 pm
Right. I'm going to start reading this, I've been trying to look for something... but I don't know what that something is.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on July 21, 2015, 12:33:36 am
IDK where this should go exactly but I've got a question, well maybe two IDK.
Do you guys have any suggestions on how to write a setting for something like DND or other such things?
I keep trying but I either end up feeling like it's TOO detailed for my liking or it's too vague to be playable, so any suggestions for how to write a setting?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Perigrin on July 21, 2015, 12:43:57 am
IDK where this should go exactly but I've got a question, well maybe two IDK.
Do you guys have any suggestions on how to write a setting for something like DND or other such things?
I keep trying but I either end up feeling like it's TOO detailed for my liking or it's too vague to be playable, so any suggestions for how to write a setting?
My advice for settings is to set only the vitally important to the campaign stuff in stone, and make the rest up as you go.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on August 04, 2015, 12:18:41 am
IDK where this should go exactly but I've got a question, well maybe two IDK.
Do you guys have any suggestions on how to write a setting for something like DND or other such things?
I keep trying but I either end up feeling like it's TOO detailed for my liking or it's too vague to be playable, so any suggestions for how to write a setting?
My advice for settings is to set only the vitally important to the campaign stuff in stone, and make the rest up as you go.
(Unrelated but PFFFT that's exactly the opposite of what I do xD)

And AHEM. SO. WRITING SOMETHING. POSTING IT TONIGHT. YEAH. EXPECT. I GUESS.

EDIT: Or, I could throw out the ideas I had while writing them because I'm suddenly not feeling those at all. Basically, something is gonna come out either tonight or tomorrow.

ANOTHER EDIT: Or, I might just channel the creativity into an RP. Not sure yet. INTERNAL DEBATE TIME.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on August 19, 2015, 10:37:56 pm
I've finally got in touch with my visual art self and now I'm doing water color and stuff like that! I finished my first ever water color painting and I'm doing a few other things, so I'm excite to share that with y'all. Also PULP is still a thing, I just don't really update it because I don't think anyone is reading it anyways. ;)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on August 19, 2015, 10:46:45 pm
Awesome, Fura! I look forward to seeing those! :V

And I'm really feelin' like writing. Then again, I always feel like writing. Still thinking about what, but this might replace my whole thing for roleplay. I like things that don't have time/player patience constraints x_x
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Super Level Furaotic on August 19, 2015, 11:54:37 pm
Awesome, Fura! I look forward to seeing those! :V

And I'm really feelin' like writing. Then again, I always feel like writing. Still thinking about what, but this might replace my whole thing for roleplay. I like things that don't have time/player patience constraints x_x

Find a prompt generator and roll with it. http://www.seventhsanctum.com/

I made PULP out of various genres and ideas that I had and just put it all together. Perhaps give it a try?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on August 20, 2015, 12:24:26 am
...oh frag it I'mma work something up to actually post, and I'll get back to putting reviews for things up because I really should do that instead of saying I will and then not.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on September 09, 2015, 01:26:17 am
UGH. SO MUCH BRAINSTORMING. SO MANY THROWN OUT IDEAS AND ONES THAT SEEM INTERESTING BUT ARE SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DEDICATE MYSELF TO.

I wanna write something. And I might. But I don't know.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Siege-Loli on September 09, 2015, 02:01:23 am
UGH. SO MUCH BRAINSTORMING. SO MANY THROWN OUT IDEAS AND ONES THAT SEEM INTERESTING BUT ARE SEEMINGLY IMPOSSIBLE FOR ME TO DEDICATE MYSELF TO.

I wanna write something. And I might. But I don't know.
Sometimes you just you just gotta go man. Just flow with it and it'll come.

Let the only day you stop be the day you die, mang.
(Just let it go and flow and you end up writing shit like that.)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on September 24, 2015, 01:52:07 am
Been a while since I've tried my hand at writing.

Hoping it's okay.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on November 30, 2015, 02:03:59 am
BAM LITTLE UPDATE
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on December 01, 2015, 12:04:20 am
TRIPLE POST. Yes, I'm basically the devil.

Anyhow, I was thinking I might start a little Tales on the Highway sorta thing, as a bit of a side project. Writing about the same story oftentimes bores me to the point of being unable to continue it, so maybe a buncha little off-branching ones about various characters from everyone's favorite undying roleplay would work. This sound interesting to anyone?

Also, which characters would you wanna see?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on December 01, 2015, 01:39:54 am
I'd like to see Graham, but who knows. I might be bias :p
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on December 16, 2015, 12:40:48 am
Highway Tales is being relegated to a slow development position. I want it to be good, wouldn't wanna rush a half-assed story.

Might try my hand at something else. Might not, knowing me. I dunno.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on December 22, 2015, 12:49:39 pm
Oh shit I didn't know you were working on something like this, I just thought up the name and went, "Yeah let's just get it started before I forget about it."


It's basically three short stories that will feed into one main story. The first one was about the The Law and his companion, the second one will be about a couple that travel the wastes doing odd jobs for people, and the third is them meeting up together in Neo Tokyo where they take on a Casino heist because they all owe the Yakhuza for reasons I won't divulge yet.

And I'm thinking about doing a fourth one centered around what the bandits exactly did.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on December 23, 2015, 10:39:42 pm
If I was gonna post part of mine soon, should I just use that thread, or make a new one?
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on December 23, 2015, 10:52:34 pm
Whatever you want to do man, I don't care if you post on the thread, hell maybe it'll encourage more people to post.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on December 23, 2015, 11:02:44 pm
Alrighty right. I'll probably do that tonight.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on March 22, 2016, 01:44:21 am
Might start posting tidbits of this weird attempt at Lovecraftian pulp-fiction-y detective horror I've been writing recently. Not sure.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on November 11, 2016, 10:20:25 pm
OH MAN ALL THE FALSE PROMISES I'VE WRITTEN ON THIS PAGE

ANYWAYS I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND I'LL POST IT IN THE LIBRARY AT CATA SOMETIME

YEAH
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on November 11, 2016, 11:28:03 pm
OH MAN ALL THE FALSE PROMISES I'VE WRITTEN ON THIS PAGE

ANYWAYS I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND I'LL POST IT IN THE LIBRARY AT CATA SOMETIME

YEAH
...so not sure if reading correctly or not, but you're going to post in the library at cata? So the place most of us either are not going to go to or are unable to do so? Just pointing out that minor detail if I'm reading this right, but in the end do what you wanna do.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on November 12, 2016, 12:52:31 am
OH MAN ALL THE FALSE PROMISES I'VE WRITTEN ON THIS PAGE

ANYWAYS I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND I'LL POST IT IN THE LIBRARY AT CATA SOMETIME

YEAH
...so not sure if reading correctly or not, but you're going to post in the library at cata? So the place most of us either are not going to go to or are unable to do so? Just pointing out that minor detail if I'm reading this right, but in the end do what you wanna do.
I know, I know, but I mean...there's like, less than ten people normally active here. It'd help my motivation for something akin to a wider audience??? No offense intended or anything, heh.

Plus I know a good few of you can and sometimes do still go online in the Cata forums once in a while.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on November 12, 2016, 04:51:26 am
OH MAN ALL THE FALSE PROMISES I'VE WRITTEN ON THIS PAGE

ANYWAYS I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND I'LL POST IT IN THE LIBRARY AT CATA SOMETIME

YEAH
...so not sure if reading correctly or not, but you're going to post in the library at cata? So the place most of us either are not going to go to or are unable to do so? Just pointing out that minor detail if I'm reading this right, but in the end do what you wanna do.
I know, I know, but I mean...there's like, less than ten people normally active here. It'd help my motivation for something akin to a wider audience??? No offense intended or anything, heh.

Plus I know a good few of you can and sometimes do still go online in the Cata forums once in a while.

Okay so I've been away for a long fucking time, I've been forging my own path and all that jazz on the Youtube scene.

But I'm going to say this right now, putting some fucking written work on the same forum that made everyone migrate here and the same game whose development staff is now dead due to some egotistical knob being head of the project is probably the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard of in my entire life.

You want to reach a wider audience so badly, go post your shit to deviant art or fandom.net and then shill it hard on Reddit like I did with my videos. You don't get big by staying in niches, you get big by networking within those niches. This place is a hugbox and Cataclysm is a dying community you're not going to get anywhere by posting it here or on Cata.

Even with saying that though I have to say its equally dumb not to share written work with the same people that you've been friends with for a long ass time now, instead forsaking them for random strangers on the internet that could give less of a fuck about you.

I'm telling you this right now because you'll never get your break out moment by staying within circles that you're comfortable with, you have to get out of your comfort zone but you shouldn't forsake the people you've been with for the longest time.

I left this place for the longest time because I felt stuck, I didn't head back to Cata because I hated them and they hated me, so I just kinda went elsewhere and started dicking around there. I really wish I didn't go as quiet as I did but things got crazy this year, I've been hanging out with a lot of people, I forged a new community from the ashes of HM and SS13, I realized that even with my own community I still felt something was missing and I guess it was that old bond that the old group had. I have so many new faces coming in and I don't have the same connection to them as I do here.

So to put it in short: Branch out and expand, take risks, plant your feet in uncharted territory. But don't forget where your roots lay.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: RedVulnus on November 12, 2016, 11:00:36 am
Um, that's a bit aggressive... But still good points. Also welcome back.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on November 12, 2016, 05:39:24 pm
Um, that's a bit aggressive... But still good points. Also welcome back.

Oh yeah its very aggressive because I'm sick of seeing people with giant egos because they "create things" especially when they're on the same level as everyone else.

I've learned that being humble about your works and not being an ass to your friends is probably for the best. And that sugar coating things never gets anywhere.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on November 12, 2016, 10:28:49 pm
OH MAN ALL THE FALSE PROMISES I'VE WRITTEN ON THIS PAGE

ANYWAYS I'M WRITING SOMETHING AND I'LL POST IT IN THE LIBRARY AT CATA SOMETIME

YEAH
...so not sure if reading correctly or not, but you're going to post in the library at cata? So the place most of us either are not going to go to or are unable to do so? Just pointing out that minor detail if I'm reading this right, but in the end do what you wanna do.
I know, I know, but I mean...there's like, less than ten people normally active here. It'd help my motivation for something akin to a wider audience??? No offense intended or anything, heh.

Plus I know a good few of you can and sometimes do still go online in the Cata forums once in a while.

Okay so I've been away for a long fucking time, I've been forging my own path and all that jazz on the Youtube scene.

But I'm going to say this right now, putting some fucking written work on the same forum that made everyone migrate here and the same game whose development staff is now dead due to some egotistical knob being head of the project is probably the dumbest fucking idea I've ever heard of in my entire life.

You want to reach a wider audience so badly, go post your shit to deviant art or fandom.net and then shill it hard on Reddit like I did with my videos. You don't get big by staying in niches, you get big by networking within those niches. This place is a hugbox and Cataclysm is a dying community you're not going to get anywhere by posting it here or on Cata.

Even with saying that though I have to say its equally dumb not to share written work with the same people that you've been friends with for a long ass time now, instead forsaking them for random strangers on the internet that could give less of a fuck about you.

I'm telling you this right now because you'll never get your break out moment by staying within circles that you're comfortable with, you have to get out of your comfort zone but you shouldn't forsake the people you've been with for the longest time.

I left this place for the longest time because I felt stuck, I didn't head back to Cata because I hated them and they hated me, so I just kinda went elsewhere and started dicking around there. I really wish I didn't go as quiet as I did but things got crazy this year, I've been hanging out with a lot of people, I forged a new community from the ashes of HM and SS13, I realized that even with my own community I still felt something was missing and I guess it was that old bond that the old group had. I have so many new faces coming in and I don't have the same connection to them as I do here.

So to put it in short: Branch out and expand, take risks, plant your feet in uncharted territory. But don't forget where your roots lay.
Shit dude, uh, I'm not calling my writing good, lol.

And lemme be honest here, I don't give a single fuck about the whole interforum drama bullshit. At all. Like, okay, you argued with people on Cata over a year ago, and some not-even-that-bad stuff was said. And we got a new forum out of it, which I only came to because the Rec Room was dead and everybody I like headed on over there. But I really, really don't care how it came to be.

So honestly, like, if you wanna read something I wrote in my spare time out of complete boredom and no creative outlet, I don't think heading on the Cata forums for the purpose of reading through one topic is really all that fucking unbearable. Go as a guest if you're that adamant about it, hell if I know.

In addition, I'm not exactly trying to reach a wider fucking audience or anything, which is another thing I give zero fucks about (hell, half of the writing I did that I think is okay is just on unlisted Pastebin folders), I'm just saying that our Creative Endeavors or whatever section is pretty much dead and buried, if anybody hadn't noticed, and thus I'd like to give something a spin somewhere else. That somewhere else being the place where I read a bunch of cool apocalyptic writing that kickstarted my desire to try it out.

Uh, and the story is also about Cataclysm. So that's also pretty fitting. This isn't like, my debut novel or some shit that I should care about, it's bad roguelike fanfiction, man.

In short, how the fuck am I forsaking anybody? Posting shitty stories on a gaming forum that a few of us got butthurt at a really, really long time ago isn't exactly saying you guys aren't my friends.

In shorter short, aye m8 fuck up u vegetable-headed-ass cunt

(I love you daddy Aaron pls don't be mad)
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Wheel-Son on November 13, 2016, 07:04:58 am
Original snip
Confused Snip
Anxious snip
Passive aggressive snip
I've branched out, kinda. Not in a way you were talking about.
I'm a part of r/50b, but like 99% of you guys know that already.
Anywho, good to see you back, AJ
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ApatheticExcuse on November 14, 2016, 02:02:37 pm
This seems like an odd topic for there to be drama over.

Go for it Forrest. You know I'd read.

Doesn't matter to me where you post it. Having it over there does not defacto mean you hate the rest of us. It's a forum, it's not sentient or malicious by design. Worst thing that could happen is it gets ignored, and I'm the only one who comments on it. That's pretty much also the worst thing that could happen if you posted it here, so eh.

The salt on that end is dead. People don't really know who RD is, let alone anyone else. If I'm being honest, no one over there seems to have actually spent any attention whatsoever on Utterly Mad, pretty much from the moment everyone left. Salt should be dead on this end. The Almighty Granola Bar's barely even involved anymore.

If you do wanna get famous or whatever, then yeah, I'd agree, post your stuff elsewhere, too. I personally don't care about that shit and really only ever share stuff to make it seem like I had some point in writing it, so I can't help much there.

Same with "branching out", TBH. I've got enough going on IRL and enough friends and commitments that I already don't have time for. I'm pretty ok with limiting my online relationships to a few people I actually like (which includes most of ya'll).

Anyway, do it up!
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: ajwilli1 on December 10, 2016, 04:50:01 am
Dear Lord, reading shit you write when you're in a bad state of mind is not fun in the slightest. I'm so sorry for that paragraph and a half of salt.
Title: Re: Critique, tips, and collaborations.
Post by: Forrest on December 10, 2016, 04:59:52 am
Dear Lord, reading shit you write when you're in a bad state of mind is not fun in the slightest. I'm so sorry for that paragraph and a half of salt.
Heh, I've been there, man.

still love you dog