Utterly Mad

You approach the bum and he dashes off as you get near. You do spot a window leading into what appears to be a bathroom though, and it's open.

I shoot you in the chest with a shotgun and then build a world war 2 era bunker and fill it with generic video game enemies whilst sipping cocaine.

This is for people to offer a bit of critique to someone, or to give tips on how to make a drawing or story better, or to discuss collaborations between the artists.
It's a place for us to share our opinions on each others works and to try and help each other get better, and to work together. So please keep it civil and constructive.

OKay, so this is continuing the story for 'A Wedding Shooting', and switching tenses for ease of writing, and the name of the overall story is going to be 'The Syndicate'.
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Burns stood at the trial with his accomplices to give their plea. The six of them all spoke in unison "Guilty", and the judge sentenced them to the maximum the law allowed, life in prison.
--the next day--
The six of them were in general population now, and they knew they needed to stick together. What they did, it had been unsanctioned, so they were now fair game even to members of their own syndicate. They figured they wouldn't make it past a month, but they were determined to try.
They had discussed it at length during the transfer process to general population. Of course they never expected the first attack to come from the cops. The six of them were walking in a hallway when a guard brought his baton into Burns stomach and toppled him to the ground while his buddy pulled his gun and held Burns allies at bay.
The beating went on for what must have been nearly ten minutes, but Burns had learned to deal with immense pain years ago. The guard stood, spitting on Burns as a final insult before motioning for his buddy to follow him as he walked off. Two of Burns friends picked him up and helped him walk as he could barely move his right leg.
"This reminds me of how we met Rico..."
--8 years ago--
Burns was 23, a new man in the syndicate if you listened to some of the higher ups, but he had been a member for six years. He had been walking down the road like he always had. He spotted a couple of bullies beating on a kid down an alley, and stopped. Normally he would have walked away, ignored it, but instead he walked towards them.
The bullies didn't notice him until he punched one hard enough to dislocate and partially break his jaw. The other two went at him, one of them swinging with a base ball bat. Burns grabbed the bat and twisted it out of the bullies hand and tossed it, then followed that with a kick to the head that sent the bully sailing into a wall unconcious.
The other bully tried a rather sloppy martial arts kick, which Burns caught. He held the bully's leg and then brought his elbow down onto the kneecap, shattering it.
As the last of the bullies lay on the ground writhing in pain Burns picked the kid up and onto his feet. "You okay?"
The kid stared at him for a moment before answering "Yeah, just a few bruises. Thanks, they would have done a lot worse if you hadn't helped."
"No problem kid." Burns said, pulling out a cigarette and kicking the bully who was still concious and had just cussed him out.
"Do you think you could teach me a few of those moves?" The kid asked, looking unsure of himself.
"Kid, you'd just get hurt." Burns said, lighting the cigarette and walking back out of the alley.
"Look, I'll do anything, I'll even pay for lessons." The kid said, following him.
With a sigh Burns looked over his shoulder "Tell you what, be at 0577 Brown street at five pm. Don't be late, and be there every day. If you show up late no lessons."
And with that Burns walked off, with the kid shouting that he'd be there.
--the next day--
Sure enough the kid arrived on time. Burns stood up from sitting on his porch and grabbed a bucket of paint and a brush. "What's your name?"
The kid said "It's Rico. What's with the paint?"
"Today you learn dedication. You will paint as long as it takes to paint the wall of the building around my porch. When you need a ladder come knock on the door and tell the guy who answers that you need it. He'll help hold it. For now I have to go take care of something across town."
"Okay, but why am I painting to learn this?"
"Because the house needs a new coat and you won't learn anything until that's done." Burns said as he started walking.
--an hour later--
Burns returned to see a majority of the house painted and Rico still working. Burns walked to the door and called out "Hey kid, come in for a drink."
Rico climbed off the ladder and followed Burns inside.
--present time--
"Hey, I wasn't the one getting the shit beat out of him this time." Rico said smiling.
"Yeah, now let's get lunch shall we." Burns said as they made their way down the hall.

Spoiler: Priest the smoke guy (hover to show)

Priest banged his head with the music that pumped into his ears from the MP3 player in his pocket. A guy in a mask walked by and Priest fell into step behind him, rocking a cap, sunglasses, and a bandanna pulled over his nose. Noose looked over his shoulder at Priest and nodded as they walked.
They walked over to a sedan and waited. Cross stepped out, mask on and head banging as the stereo pumped out a beat. Broken-Man sat up in the back seat, shook his head, and slid out the door. Broken zipped up his hoodie and checked his mask before nodding to Noose.
The four of them walked into the reception area of an office building. The security guard walked up and one of them popped off "Okay, very funny boys, now take the masks off."
Broken looked over at Noose, whom nodded. Broken stepped forward, spun, and drove his elbow into the guards head. The other two pulled their pistols and went to fire, but their guns clicked as the magazines hit the floor. Cross took one step forward and kicked one in the groin, and the guard hit the ground with a slight scream. Broken looked at the third and walked towards him.
To the guards credit, he tried warning the rest of security, but all he got was static. Broken punched him in the forehead and the man hit the floor unconcious.
The receptionist ducked under her desk as they walked past towards the elevator. They piled in, looking at the accountants that had occupied it previously. Noose hit the top floor button.
One of the accountants looked over and asked "So, um, h-how are you?"
Noose looked over, "Oh, pretty good, just going to go throw a bastard out of a window and burn his office, you know, just an average day."
The rest of the trip up was done to the background of elevator music. The doors opened and the four of them stepped out. Noose looked at the others "Okay, my turn."
With that he walked up to the large double doors and stepped through. With a sudden flash of movement the guards pulled weapons and yelled for him to stand down. He smiled under the mask and looked at them. He walked towards them and they opened fire.
Noose fell to the floor with holes in his chest. The guards all recoiled as they saw him stand up, and saw the leathery wings sprout out of his back. The smile on his mask glowed blood red as he charged the guards.
The others walked in a moment later to see him knocking the last guard unconcious. Priest stepped through the door into the office of the man. The man looked at them and nearly screamed. Noose had the wings and glowing smile, Cross' entire mask was glowing in reds and black, Broken's mask looked like someone had shattered it and his right arm looked like someone tried to make frankenstein.
Priest walked over to the man and smiled "Do you remember that orphanage you foreclosed on? How about that place for the homeless?" He asked, and with each word a puff of smoke blew out from under the bandanna.
"I didn't do anything wrong, it was all perfectly legal!" The man said, panicking. Priest pulled his bandanna off and all that was there was swirling smoke.
"Time to die bastard." And with that Priest threw the man out the window.

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Spoiler: Revolution and the spirit of Death (hover to show)

The mine crew looked over the packed house and then looked at one another. They had agreed to let the revolutionaries use their shift meeting to discuss their plans, but they needed to be here to make it credible that people were here. Mark leaned against a pillar and let the droning voices of the speakers pass into the background as he looked at his partner, "So, you figure out how to get old Betsy to actually work, or is she going to nearly explode in my face again?"
His partner, John, rolled his eyes and sighed. "Look, like I said you messed with one of the steam valves and it blocked the pipe, causing a pressure build-up that caused a near catastrophic failure in the steam generator."
Mark looked at John and raised an eyebrow "Oh really? It wasn't the fact you failed to take into account all that magic bullshit that actually makes the damned thing to work?"
John raised his hands and smiled "Hey, if that's what failed blame the shift mage, he's the one who built those bits, not me."
Mark gave a short chuckle before looking back at the gathering of revolutionaries. He didn't know if they would succeed, but he knew they had the gumption. He checked his watch, another hour before they headed off and this meeting ended.

--same story--
The hooded figure looked out at the city, waiting patiently for the time to come. He looked at the check list of names he had brought and noticed something. He looked up into the skies and spoke "Sister Fate you cannot change my list at one of your damned whims!"
A voice whispered in his ear, a soft melodic voice that he was honestly sick of "Oh but I have such plans for that one. Can't you just find someone else to kill? Please? please please please please!"
He sighed "He is supposed to die! Why should I spare him! His life will not stop the ceaseless death that I see every day so why!?!"
Fate whispered back "But he will save thousands! I know you hate your job, and that your soul is bound to do it until the end of humanity, but please Death?"
Death rolled his eyes and started towards the city. "Fine sister, I'll spare him."
"Oh thank you thank you thank you!" Fate said.
Death checked his watch, twenty-three hours fifty-five minutes until he was going to be busy here

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Spoiler:  wedding shooting (hover to show)

The room was filled with laughter and smiles, with congratulations being given to the lucky couple. The two smiled, chatting with their guests. The groom leaves his bride to speak with a man for a second.
"This vest is rather annoying." He states plainly to the man.
"I would have thought the piece your carrying would be even more uncomfortable." Was the reply.
"You really think they would try to kill me at my wedding." It wasn't a question but a statement of fact.
"They are honorless dogs. I would expect nothing less from them." The man said, looking around the room.
"I hope you are wrong."
--meanwhile--
No one talked in the car. They all knew what they were doing, they knew what it would say about them, they knew why they did it. Those bastards had taken one of their own. Now they would return the favor ten fold.
They slipped out the windows, taking aim as they neared the church. The first shot flew through the front door, tumbling through the air before taking one of the guards in the chest and tearing through the vest. Four cars drove into the parking lot, blocking the exits.
Burns screams as he lets loose with his AK into the church "This is for the chairman!"
The shots spray into the unarmed guests as the men pour fire into the building. They rush forward, guns bucking as they mow down the guards and anyone who tried to stop them. Burns yells again as he busts the door down "Johnny sends his regards to the bastards who killed his father!" and then he sprayed fire at anyone still standing.
The guests dove for the floor as the bullets flew all over the room. The men rushed into the church as the last of the guards fell to the ground. Burns yelled "Find me the man who killed the Chairman."
A few minutes later one of the men hauled the groom in front of Burns. The bride screamed as Burns put the barrel of the gun to the grooms head. "We saw what you did. May you burn in hell."
The gun bucked and Burns turned. He and his boys walked outside as the police sirens wailed into the evening air. They tossed their guns to the ground and got to their knees as the police rushed towards them.

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The sound of gunfire formed a a symphony of death as the soldiers fired into the rushing mutants. They were the last line, the last defenders of humanity. It was do or die, save humanity or be the reason man went extinct.
One by one the mutants ended the lives of the soldiers, so that the symphony was a single rifle being fired from a second floor window. The lone soldier bearing the wings of the angel of death on his shoulder. Slaughtering with gun and knife as the mutants converge on him. He knows that they are many and he's the only one left.
He drops his now empty rifle to rush up the stairs towards the roof. He fires behind him with his side arm at the pursuing mutants. He feels the razor sharp claw cut through his side as one of the mutants zipped by him and out the hole in the wall. He rushes to device on the roof.
He knew he wouldn't survive once that device was switched on, but death didn't matter to the man. He knelt beside it and flipped the switch. As the beam shot skyward he pulled a picture from his pocket and kissed it as fire came down from the sky. The laser incinerated the man and began to spread, killing the mutants. Eventually covering the dead city and leaving a crater in it's place.
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Spoiler: A merc and his comrade (hover to show)

As I gunned down the last of my foes I began to search for my comrade who had been fighting alongside me. After a few minutes I was about to give up, assume he had run, but then I heard him groan in pain. I walked over and knelt beside him, preparing a syringe.
I gave him a couple shots of morphine, but we both knew he was going to die at this point. He nodded at me, knowing what I was going to do. It was what anyone of us would have done to a comrade, mortally injured and with no hope of getting him any kind of medical help.
I pulled my pistol from it's holster and quietly took aim. Before I pulled the trigger he spoke "I am at peace for the first time in my life."
I looked away before pulling the trigger, then closed his eye lids gently. A comrade down, left to forever rest in this hell.
His folks wrote me, years ago, saying he had found religion. Maybe there was something to it, maybe there was a place  we went to after death. For me though, my sins are too numerous to be forgiven.
I picked his body up and slung it over a shoulder, keeping my pistol ready. I knew a man who would fly his body home to be buried. It was the least I could do for the man who had saved me so many times.
--same story--
A lot of people ask me why I do my work. Don't I have a family?
And to that I reply they were all buried in unmarked graves by someone I've been hunting for years. And that they should shut up before I make them eat their own fist.
Of course, some days I do think about getting out of this weird game where friends could suddenly become enemies and then back again in a matter of a day. We all understand, it's just how the buisness works. But still, taking a break from it has some appeal to us all, but we'll never give up the life. Too much fun blowing up drug kings and war lords.
Though there comes a time, after everyone you've ever known dies and turns to dust, when the life loses some appeal. You'll never settle down and have a house and a nice little family where the kids go off to college while you work a day job. You just start to wonder how much of yourself you're willing to give up to the devil to stay alive and keep at this life.
Of course, carrying the dead body of your fallen comrade, one who's been through a lot with you, puts things in perspective. One more job, then I'm done. Of course, just my luck the job entails killing a warlord. Which in and of itself means waging a small war.
--same story--
I found a road and kept walking along it. The body of my comrade was beginning to weigh more, but I knew that was just fatigue starting to set in. I missed my car, an old dodge charger. From back when they didn't make every car look the same.
I began to hear a vehicle approaching and sighed. I was either going to be passed by or gunned down. Which is why I was surprised when it stopped, the two in the truck looking at me. Finally, after staring at each other for a couple of awkward minutes, they motioned me to get in the bed of the truck. I took the ride and we sat in silence.
As we approached the no fire zone the driver looked back and said "I'm sorry for your friend. It is tough to lose someone who has fought beside you."
I was surprised, and for a second said nothing, then spoke "Thank you. Maybe the next time we meet we will be on the same side."
They stopped in front of town to let me off with the body, then hit the gas and went back into the jungle. I carried the body to the small church in town. They took the dead and sent them home to where ever they were from.
Now, back to buisness.

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The man sat in the armchair, staring at the fire in front of him. He was good man despite the things he had done. He contemplated calling his daughter, but decided against it. The men would be coming soon. "So I take it by your presence that I'm going to die today old friend."
The figure standing beside him put a hand on the man's shoulder and spoke "You are one of the few living people to have ever seen me. One of the few I've befriended. But as it has always been, I must take the dead to their final destination. I am here early because I wished to see you one last time."
The man nodded, not speaking as he stared into the fire. He put a hand on the old bible that sat on the table next to his chair. He heard the door open and three sets of foot steps. "So, you know what we're here to do." One of them said.
The man felt the barrel of a gun pressed to his head, but heard one of the others speak "No. He deserves better. Let his family have an open casket funeral."
And with that he felt something poke into his wrist before being swiftly withdrawn. "Poison mixed with sedatives. It'll knock him out before he feels anything."
As the world began to dim he heard the men walk out, and Death spoke "She's been waiting a long time for you. Tell her I said hello."

Hey we don' got no swear jar here'
*Tosses swear jar out the window*

Hey, how about stickying this please.

Okay, so we should be actually doing this here. But let me check the censoring FUCK
Okay, so I need everyone to pick a start point, because I've got a couple ways this can go.
so Starts
1: Your part of new up and coming Family, fighting it's way to the top
2: You're the new guys in one of the pre existing Families
Note: either way you guys start at the bottom as the errand boys and enforcers of the Mob

Mechanics
(click to show/hide)
Combat
I'm going to keep this one behind the scenes.
Pretty much what you need to do is: Declare attack on which enemy, then what body part.
Cover
This is very, very important. You are less likely to be hit if you are behind cover, but be careful of flanking enemies, as they might get a clear shot at you.
Setting
(click to show/hide)
Set in a fictional version of LA (so I don't have to be super accurate and look up a bunch of stuff), where the Mob is at it's prime. You're the new guys in the Family though, so you aren't seeing much of the hauls yet. But you are going to rise in the ranks, whether that's through intimidation or busting knee caps.
For now though you'll have to make do with what you get, and prove yourself to the Boss.
Weapons
(click to show/hide)
1911
Clip: 8
Fire Mode: semi auto
Damage: 2d6

Revolver
Clip: 6
Fire Mode: semi auto
Damage 2d8

Tommy gun
clip: 30
Fire Mode: Semi/Full auto
Damage 2d6

Shotgun
Clip: 2
Fire Mode: Semi auto
Damage: 4d8
Note: Damage drops off at higher range

M1 Rifle
Clip: 8
Fire Mode: Semi auto
Damage: 3d8
Sticking with a limited number of weapons so I don't have to deal with a huge list.

CS
Name:
Age:
Gender:
Appearance:
Clothes:
Weapons: