Utterly Mad

Ok, so, I will do a little more in depth review of the story when I get home - I've given it a quick skim at work, but have only truely read through the first few posts this morning and made notes I don't have access to while I'm here. There is however, one sort of big issue that pops up immediately and can be fixed easily.

"After a quick glance at the map and replacing it, she looked through the notes. They had been written by her father, her great grandfather, and another traveler to this region."

"Her father had finally relented to staying away from that place"

"He had decided to take a trade cog to Zantia to try and secure a place for them there."

"She would one day return to bright point, but whether she ever found her father after her first adventure is a story for another time."

Ok, so, she has notes, made by her father, who's not been to Gulgatha, about Gulgatha. If he didn't go, how did he make notes? It's possible that he heard about it from HIS grandfather, but then why have a generational gap? Gulgatha sunk during his grandfather's lifetime, not his father's, so it seems unlikely he would have had much to contribute owing simply to them being secondhand stories, especially when the other two authors have firsthand experience.

Similarly, if he did have notes from being there, but has gone missing due to being put on a refugee ship, and has yet to be discovered, how did she end up with the notes?

I'd yank the mention of him from the notes for clarity sake.

As I say, more indepth review to follow later. Just a heads up, I'm going for constructive criticism, not just complements, and am going to pick this apart a bit. It's a good story with a pretty unique theme relative to most fantasy, don't get me wrong. But someone else from here who had me give them feedback on a story once said that most of the people here are too nice about things because everyone here is friends, and that having someone come in and tell them all the problems rather than just the good was very helpful. Hopefully you find the same.