Excuse you, but I am a shark.
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Every year my school does this thing called Dart Wars. Basically, we all pay money to sign up and make teams. Teams face off and whoever has more kills at the end of the week wins. The only places off limits are school and the inside of your house. People will wake up at 5 in the morning and ambush the other guys as they leave their houses to go to school. It's paranoia-inducing and awesome.
Thanks Peri for making me question muh sexualities once again.
Utterly Mad, where various people self identify as kitchenware.