Utterly Mad
The Pit => General Discussion => Topic started by: Six on March 21, 2015, 06:04:39 pm
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Everyone else is dead, the entire human race wiped out in an instant, except you. You just woke up and everyone was inexplicably gone without a trace.
What do you do? (Except masturbate furiously out in the street because nobody can catch you, because we all know you would.)
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Travel the world collecting as much artifacts of Earth's history, to let any future alien life-forms that travel to Earth can learn the history of Earth and its dominant species, humans.
Proceed to research for a way to somehow create a baby, despite being the only human left. Maybe attempt create an artificial breeder to pass on my genes/human race. It will use eggs found in one of those weird egg-storage-facility things. In the case of infertility from old age, I would use semen from sperm banks to impregnate the artificial breeder.
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Honestly I'd love to think I'd do something amazing but I'd just find as much alcohol as I could and drink myself to death immediately.
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run around, wreck shit, fire guns, generally dick around until i died. i wouldnt really try, just have fun with my isolation. come on, you could break anything, do anything.
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Probably try to re-create humanity through banks.
Til then...probably grab all the things I want and set myself up as king for when my new humanity comes by.
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Well, if something like that happened I doubt I would automatically know that I was the last human on Earth, so I would spend the rest of my life roaming the Earth trying to find other humans. I would probably eventually die from radiation poisoning because I wandered into an area contaminated by the fallout from all the nuclear powerplants that would meltdown because there wasn't anyone to shut them down properly.
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Make a bowl of ravioli, and proceed to go and find a luxury jet. Go to www.how2flyajetforscrubs.com and go on a world tour. Once I'm bored, fly the jet into a volcano whilst listening to hardcore dubstep.
I say this, but what I would probably do is make a bowl of ravioli and go back to bed.
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Make a bowl of ravioli, and proceed to go and find a luxury jet. Go to www.how2flyajetforscrubs.com and go on a world tour. Once I'm bored, fly the jet into a volcano whilst listening to hardcore dubstep.
I say this, but what I would probably do is make a bowl of ravioli and go back to bed.
Brb making a virus site ;)
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Loot. Because YOU CAN CHECK EVERYONE'S STUFF. Imagine all those secrets.
Then i'd go anywhere and do anything i wanted, explore secret places and have a good lot of fun.
And sleep naked anywhere.
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And sleep naked anywhere.
You would probably still have to deal with wildlife, like annoying ticks and lice.
Probably not a good idea.
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Well, like, in awesome beds in mansions or stuff!
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Why are Exodus and I the only ones that even considered the continuation of the human species and its history?
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We'd all do sooner or later, but i guess at first let's just fool around?
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We'd all do sooner or later, but i guess at first let's just fool around?
Doing a shitload of research to discover how to create a breeder and/or collecting all of Earth's history into one area is likely going to take one's whole life. Probably not enough time to fool around at all.
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Wait, isn't cloning possibru?
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No one said we would achieve it!
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Wait, isn't cloning possibru?
Yes it is, but you still would need sperm and eggs and someone to be the mother. They did it with sheep.
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I thought all human life got wiped out. Surely that involves sperm and eggs, seeing as that counts as human life? If not then yeah, www.howtorebuildhumanity4noobs.co.uk seems like a good choice for me to look at.
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Why are Exodus and I the only ones that even considered the continuation of the human species and its history?
What about me?
Well, if something like that happened I doubt I would automatically know that I was the last human on Earth, so I would spend the rest of my life roaming the Earth trying to find other humans. I would probably eventually die from radiation poisoning because I wandered into an area contaminated by the fallout from all the nuclear powerplants that would meltdown because there wasn't anyone to shut them down properly.
I said I would try to rebuild the human race, but because I wouldn't know I was the last human on earth I would look in all the wrong places. I merely stated what would most likely happen in the end, considering there are hundreds of nuclear power plants, and Fukishima alone still threatens to massively depopulate the planet.
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Am I the only one that wouldn't even attempt to repopulate the planet at some point, even with the knowledge of how to?
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Am I the only one that wouldn't even attempt to repopulate the planet at some point, even with the knowledge of how to?
Probably not... although it would be nice to save humankind, a bowl of ravioli would take priority for me.
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First year: Drink booze and play around with the guns.
Second year: Destroy the guns and bombs and weapons.
third year: Begin trying to bring humanity back.
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But Vulnus's How are you going to hunt?
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eat all the preserved food, and keep a few AKs I guess, since those are damn hard to break apparently
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Why would you destroy all the guns??!! There are some fucking awesome guns out there, and I would set out to collect all of them!
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Today I thought about my previous plan and I have some revisions.
First of all, i'll need to find the lab material to allow me to actually fuse the egg and sperm, probably not so hard.
However, i'll need a carrier for the child until it is fully gestated which leads me to orangutans which are one of the more similar animals to humans, mind you a human baby will not go into an orangutan as is...so i'll have to experiment on multiple orangutans until I can finally get a procedure down so that the orangutan can hold the human baby. It would then be contained in a facility and I would have to monitor it carefully and keep it safe. Once the child is fully gestated and pregnancy begins I will probably not need to do much, although as soon as the baby is out I will sedate the orangutan and take the child. Once that is done i'll simply have to find a good source of milk, whether artificial or natural.
I'll have to repeat this process with multiple orangutans/primates, this means that i'll need a way to contain the animals as well as artificially administer human children to them. Also, probably going to have to revamp the surgical process later on down the line.
It's a dangerous and extremely unethical work, but for the glory of humanity, I would do it.
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So many misshapen fetuses.
Also if you end up making a clone, you'd need to teach that thing everything and feed it and tgake care of it. But only one won't rebuild humanity. And even if you do, it would never work again in the same way, as there are no proffessionals to do everything, and your little knowledge will fade with each generation. So yeah.
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Yeah, cloning wouldn't work, not with only one person to do everything anyway. There wouldn't be enough time in your remaining life to clone enough people to prevent inbreeding AND raise them AND teach them what they need to know to continue breeding/cloning.
But the point is moot, because have I mentioned YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY WAY OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH ANYWAY!!!
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But the point is moot, because have I mentioned YOU WOULDN'T HAVE ANY WAY OF KNOWING YOU WERE THE LAST PERSON ON EARTH ANYWAY!!!
I'm pretty sure we would all give up searching after a few days. A few years, for the more persistent of us.
I sincerely hope that if this hypothetical last person on Earth becomes reality, the last human is a woman, as continuing the species would be much more simpler if so.
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Perhaps I'd just accept that the human race are scrubs and died out. Maybe I'd set up huge farms for another race that could take over the world - probably ponies - and hopefully change the Earth so that the world is perfectly suited for ponies. Then the world's dominant species would be ponies, and awesome evolution and adaptation would create a poneh mustard race
I'm so high right now
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i would cheer. come on, the rest of your life to do whatever until all the buildings n shit broke down.
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Guys.
Girls.
People.
Everyone.
I just realised something.
EXPLOSIVES
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There'd be so much military ordnance just lying around for the taking, you could level an entire city for absolutely no reason.
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There'd be so much military ordnance just lying around for the taking, you could level an entire city for absolutely no reason.
How many people actually know how to use all that military ordnance?
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I'd probably die doing something stupid. Like hiking across the United States, or firing a gun for the first time, or swimming in nuclear power plant runoff. They all sound like awesome things to do until you get to the details. Dehydration, sudden and painful radiation poisoning, "okay so now do i pull the-" *BLAM*
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Most probably doing something stupid, breaking your leg, and dying if the pain is so unbearable that you can't move for food.
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There'd be so much military ordnance just lying around for the taking, you could level an entire city for absolutely no reason.
How many people actually know how to use all that military ordnance?
s
You'd have the time to learn, I'm sure a lot of military equipment comes with instruction manuals.
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I'm pretty sure there'd be some kind of... y'know... super tight security to getting to such powerful missiles and stuff. Unless you're the best hacker ever, good luck levelling off an entire city.
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I'm pretty sure there'd be some kind of... y'know... super tight security to getting to such powerful missiles and stuff. Unless you're the best hacker ever, good luck levelling off an entire city.
You'd be surprised.
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Under the assumption that everyone simply vanished in an instant it's pretty likely some stuff would just be left out, artillery of some kind, which generally isn't difficult to operate unless its mechanised artillery, operating it without possibly killing yourself might be a whole different thing but hey, you're gonna die some time right?
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Most cities would not resist too much, you know. Never saw the "Earth: Population 0" program?
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I honestly don't know.
But I can guarantee one thing. I'll probably end up killing myself by: A. Hitting a concrete barrier I didn't see coming... on a bike going over 100RPM. B. From falling off a great height and my parachute doesn't deploy. C. Putting the wrong wire on the wrong fuse and blowing up myself, and/or blowing up a tank I will most likely steal and drive around. D. Crash landing in a plane. E. Getting mauled by a pissed off brown bear.
Or finally... Z. Getting killed by another human, then I realize that I was never the last human on Earth. I die feeling overcome with Joy, Rage, and a funny feeling knowing that even when there's two(?) people left on the planet they will ultimately kill each other thus leaving them the actual last (wo)man on the Earth.
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Wander around and go through peoples things. I would do so much of that.
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LOOT
Freaking There's no need to shout or swear -AJ
EVERYTHING
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I'll make the Homestuck cast outta boredom, or find Andrew Hussie's house.
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Wait...I forgot.
If I'm the last person, there are no more laws.
IM GOING TO BURN IT ALL!
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LOOT
Freaking There's no need to shout or swear -AJ
EVERYTHING
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uh, did someone get modded again or was that a joke?
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uh, did someone get modded again or was that a joke?
*cough*Us moderators are pretending to be hardcore SJW/ KA101 hybrid for April Fools.*cough*
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SJW/ KA101 hybrid
That's like a rat/rodent hybrid. You can have a hybrid when the first part is a subset of the second.
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I like rats...jeez. no comparing my friends to ka101.
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Wait...I forgot.
If I'm the last person, there are no more laws.
IM GOING TO BURN IT ALL!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D9DkciMTsLI
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YES PLEASE!