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Creative Endeavors / Re: Catnips Odd Trip
« Last post by saltmummy626 on September 03, 2021, 09:14:20 pm »
And that was how a week later, Catnip found herself drafted and on her way to the front lines as a member of Pricetown's regular militia along with half of Pinky's staff. She barely had time to grab a few choice items and say goodbye to her friends before being shuffled into a truck and taken to Camp Frontline where she and the others would be trained. It was while at this camp that Catnip first made the acquaintance of a foul tempered woman her own age by the name of Billy-Jean Dawson. Billy-Jean was the quartermaster by virtue of her expertise in the area of guns. Billy-Jean loved guns. Rifles, pistols, tanks, shotguns, cannons, rockets, bombs, grenades, and especially machine guns and assault rifles. Billy-Jean adored everything machine guns and assault rifles. Catnip would find out during her training that the girl even had body pillows bearing the blueprints of her favorite machine guns. Knowing this, one would think that the two of them would hit it off immediately. An inventor with a deep appreciation for the design of guns and an "ammosexual" woman in charge of maintaining the armory of the town they were both in service to.

No. Not even a little. Catnip liked her but outwardly Billy-Jean found Catnip to be annoying and destructive. An influence of alteration to her world of regularity. Catnip would make suggestions to how an implement could be improved or just work on it herself and Billy-Jean would raise the racks over it. Within a short time, the sound of the quartermaster screaming had become a regular occurrence around Camp Frontline. Building brand new guns from the pieces of others was also a big no no under the roof of Billy-Jeans armory. Her armory was a domain of order and equilibrium just as Catnips garage back home had been to her. Secretly, Billy-Jean thought highly of Catnip. The designs she brought to the quartermaster were excellent and when she was just cleaning and maintaining the implements under her care, Catnip was better than all of the others. The average private, Billy-Jean thought, couldn't be trusted to properly maintain a slam fire shotgun. Catnip though could not only maintain, but manufacture and replace parts with little more than hand tools. Catnip would enjoy it even.

"You can't just cut the barrel off a moist-nugget like that! Get out of my armory! OUT! YOU'VE ALREADY DONE IT!? NOOOO! GETOUTGETOUTGETOUT!!!" The possum faced woman shrieked, chasing Catnip out of the workshop and out onto the parade field. "It was perfect already! Why did you have to Obrez it!?"

"I need a shorter gun!" Catnip shouted back, risking punishment for insubordination again, "Come on, Obrez are cool! You said so yourself! I can't use a shield and that long nugget anyway!"

"Obrez are only cool when they're made that way in the first place! Not when you ruin a perfectly good rifle to do it!" Billy-Jean screamed indignantly back. The possum mutant was wringing her tail and stomping out to meet Catnip, a sure sign that trouble was coming. Catnip may have liked Billy-Jean and secretly Billy-Jean liked her, but that didn't mean that Billy-Jean wouldn't storm after Catnip and dive on her in a hissing spitting brawl if Catnip displeased her too much and Catnip, who grew up with siblings who expressed their love by getting into brawls, would oblige by fighting back.

"Quartermaster! Private! Just what the flying frying fuck do you two think you're doing!?" Barked a man armor moving to intervene. "You've both been told! Watch your fucking attitude Quartermaster, and cut the antagonistic shit Private!"

Billy-Jean stiffened to attention while Catnip simply glanced around and hunched down sharply to find the source of the sudden verbal assault. "She wasn't being antagonizing, sir, just um..." Billy-Jean began sheepishly.

"What attitude?" Catnip said with a hint of a hiss as she eased up. The face of man who had approached was hidden by a helmet much like those of the warwalkers Catnip had seen back home during the raid on the refugee center and it had taken a detailed explanation for her to understand that the suit was simply that, a suit. Through that Helmet though, it was impossible to see what the man beneath was thinking. His facial expressions completely hidden. If Catnip had known it she would have been a bit perplexed by the knowing grin on the man's face at that moment.

"Nevermind. I have orders for Private Walker and it just so happens she'll be needing a shorter gun anyway. Seems she's saved you the trouble, eh Billy?" The man said authoritatively. Billy-Jean gave some grunt of dissatisfied relent and he went on. "Walker, report to the Shattered Helm Barracks, you're off the regs."
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by saltmummy626 on September 03, 2021, 03:52:34 pm »
Mario music intensifies
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by Wheel-Son on September 03, 2021, 04:38:23 am »
no NO AAA--
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Rec Room / Re: A History of Time to Come
« Last post by saltmummy626 on September 03, 2021, 04:35:29 am »
The Craftpriests of Agmen took in the weapons, put aside their own projects, and set to work one them. Stripping, cleaning, recording in blueprint form, reassembling, and refining like a practiced manufacturing line. Most of the rifles were fine enough but some had not weathered times endless march as well as others. A couple new barrels were turned and a stock replaced. When the Craftpriests were done, the guardians took the weapons and tested them. Sighting in and firing. Making sure each one worked flawlessly before sending them on to be given the final examination.

"Truly fine work." A bishop commented, "The Craftpriests really are a blessing."

"If you believe in that sort of thing." Said another bishop as he packed one of the rifles back into its box with the others while a mouse faced laborer moved to nail it shut.

"How you became a bishop Zachary, I'll never know." Groaned the first bishop.

"It's because Agmen doesn't care if you believe in her or it or... Whatever. It doesn't care. What did you say we got for this work, Len?" Zachary asked.

"The man donated a box of the Kalashnikov's and Carbines along with three of the long rifles and machine guns." Len mused, "I'm... Not sure if he meant three each or three total. Should we assume three each?" Zachary shrugged and ran a hand over a PKM.

"A good haul of slug throwers. I suppose it isn't important where they got them?" Zachary asked. Len looked over the rifles and the stack of rolled blueprints resting on a cart, ready to be taken and filed away in the chapel undercroft. "Lianne is going to want one of these Dragunovs."

"I know. She and her partner have been after Arch-Aegis Hennigan for new rifles for some time. I suppose they've earned them..." Zachary said, nodding.

Len rubbed his chin in thought, then took up the cart. "I don't see why they couldn't. Do me a favor and call them in when you get the chance? And get ahold of Ms. Walker and Mr. Lowe to come take a look afterwords?"

"Of course Zachary. I just hope that Her Holiness, Ms. Walker will forgive your less serious faith."
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by saltmummy626 on August 21, 2021, 04:20:48 am »
firing bean lasers, NOW.
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by Chaosvolt on August 15, 2021, 02:07:49 am »
Y'allmst've.
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by RedVulnus on July 18, 2021, 11:26:25 pm »
don't mind me, cleaning the cobwebs
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by saltmummy626 on June 03, 2021, 01:57:14 am »
I will devastate you all!
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by Chaosvolt on April 17, 2021, 03:49:58 pm »
Celebratory Sixpost after logging onto the forum from new PC.
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General Discussion / Re: Last Man Posting: -50% SHENANIGANS
« Last post by RedVulnus on April 04, 2021, 11:51:33 pm »
zzzzz*snore* wha? whose been knocking on the crypts again?
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NOCTIFER IS A FAGGOT