Utterly Mad

I'm trying to harass the chieftain into giving me a mission to troll the humans or something, instead I get sent after a DINGO, a weak-ass titan, and a...bronze colossus. Aw fuck. I got nothing I can think of that can touch this thing. :V

Fluffy wambler will take their heads right off.

Screenshot:

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I decided I would venture forth to the human hamlets to get ahold of some iron and make something that might scratch a bronze colossus. Apparently the locals there now knew I swore fealty to the amphibian man chieftain. Managed to barter for an iron breastplate, but then the lasher I got it from spat at me. Told him about slaying a titan and bandits and he still was pissy at me, so I engaged in a bit of brawling with me until he yielded.

Then the local lord was also being a twat the instant I said something to him, so I demanded he yield and drop his silver knife. Blowgunner decided to join in and now the lord was no-quarter, so I killed the bastard and walked out. :V

I kinda wanted to see if I could resolve the conflict peacefully. Clearly that isn't an option. Sad though. Only civilizations on this civ seem to be lizard men, amphibian men, and humans. So of course the two of them are on the verge of war.



The hamlet to the southwest is the northern village of the the two lizard men settlements, where I started. Way the fuck up in the northeast, you have the two hamlets I found. One human, one amphibian man. All along the southern coast and farther inland, you can see the lairs and shrines where I've made my mark.

...I blame typo imps. But yeah, I basically smacked the lasher around a bit and caught a punch.

Now, I'm gonna commit !!SCIENCE!! as to whether iron will slay the bronze bugger.

Dunno. I have now proven that great axes don't even scratch the fucking thing. Even after I'd buffed their attack velocities.

EDIT: Just cheated by slapping an extra 0 into both shear values for iron. Even then you can't lop a bronze colossus' head of with a vastly superior material. :V

In other news, it turns out I'm still a shit tank commander outside of War Thunder. Goodbye, Utter Madness, you won't be missed but my gunner sure will. You lasted two days more than most of my tanks do, and will hopefully be replaced with something that isn't a base M4.

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EDIT:

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Oh, well fuck Cecil the Gunner. Easy Eight >  a poor fuck from Idaho.

It's free. I believe the name is ARMCOM or armored commander. It's a roguelike tank sim game that I suck at. Here's a quick LP to give you an idea how it works.

You move around on this map, trying to get as many points as possible before the day is over.

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When the day ends, you restock and go back out.

The good news is that I just realized I can put you guys in the game as my crew, and since doing so, we've killed a few tanks, some trucks and infantry, and even a Hetzer.

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The bad news is that we're probably all about to die. Two of those four things are PaK43s, which have already killed two friendly tanks before we've even reacted, and we have the wrong ammo in the tube.

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Uhoh, this is what I get for not scouting ahead and dropping some arty on this place. Well, we'll leave the hatches open and hope we can bail if this goes as predicted. I'll pop some smoke, Salty and Lork will get on the MGs, and Forrest, FFS, get some HE in the gun! This pretty much rides on you being able to back us up and get us hull down, since we're flanked right now. At least move us around enough that we won't get hit.

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Great. Just awesome driving there RD.

Don't worry, Salty matches your driving ability with his shooting ability.

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Lork can't even get a shot off because someone didn't reverse quick enough. Fortunately, my smoke works, and the PaKs target our buddies instead of us, missing twice.

Time to go on the offensive. Our buddies wreck one of the trucks - awesome job shooting at something that presented no threat. Forrest got some HE into the main gun and can pile at least another shot in there with Lork's help, maybe three or four in total if we're lucky. Since Salty can't shoot on the move because we're in an Easy Eight, RD is just gonna have to sit around and get ready to bail if this goes south. I'm gonna sit in the cupola and help direct Salt's shots.

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Good shooting Salt! Not so good loading, you other two. You guys were even pulling it from the ready rack instead of general stores. C'mon, we got like 8 shots off at that Pz. IV H in the last fight! Hopefully that one shell does it for this gun, anyway.

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Nope. Somehow our nice big 76mm shell missed by just enough to not do anything.

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Well, that's trouble.

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WELL, THAT'S TROUBLE. Like fish in a barrel from this distance.

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Annndd... we're breeched! Ol' Apa's been in the shit long enough to know that the 88mm the '43 packs will easily fuck the tank. Bail guys, bail!

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Or not. Geeze, good bailing skills guys. Right up there with shooting, loading, driving, and tank commanding. Well, we lasted about four days. I blame RD.


Anyway, it's a pretty old game and I don't think it's been updated forever. If you can't find it via Google, I'll dropbox it or something tomorrow. In the meantime, time to roll up again. We'll see if these mooks last longer.

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