Utterly Mad

Salt needs a traction bench? Yaaaay you're legit fucked. D:

Looking for it to restrain someone else (no idea who), I assume it's some bondage thing he's into.

Traction benches are a compound fracture thing, right?

Salt needs a traction bench? Yaaaay you're legit fucked. ; D

Damn right.

The necromancer gestures, the dead succession moves.
I'm gonna take a turn at this. and seeing as no one is showing much interest, I'm going to take my time with it. More over, I'm going to keep going until the fort falls, or someone decides they want to take a turn. One year turn? No. I just said I was going to keep going didn't I? This is now a semi-succession community fort. None of this "sign me up for a turn, I'll do it later when it's my turn." That doesn't work here on Utterly Mad. Are we not madmen? Our successions should be the work of madmen! Chaotic! Fuck the schedule! I will keep going until someone requests I relinquish control, at which point I will pack up the save and pass it over IMMEDIATELY. If you don't have time for a turn at that moment, you don't get a turn.
The necromancer gestures once more, the succession turns and marches.

So. Where were we? Ah yes, a tower to the moon...
Fuck that, siege! the moment I start things up and refamiliarize myself with the fort.
I think I can see why no one wanted to take the next turn now. This siege is FPS killing, there are holes in the ceiling, and our military has seen better days. These little bolds have surprised us in the past, so lets see what happens...

In the opening blows of the battle, five conscripts are lost and 6 trolls are slain.

In the warrens beneath, enemies drop into the kobold's network of tunnels from the holes made by felled trees left unplugged. Another group of trolls rips out the flimsy hatch and doors. Apatheticexcuse enters a heated naked gun style battle with a goblins crossbowman near the stairs leading into the warrens fortifications. It become apparent that stlaybers legendary bowbolds are being held up by this one agile goblin. The fort needs them, and there is little time for this distraction. The moment one of them tries to break cover and make there way to the main hall where they are most needed though, a bolt is sent in their direction. "Bastard!" Hisses Apathetic. Meanwhile, the shaman heads up to Apathetics great edifice. Apa had a plan. Saltmummy knew it wouldn't work, but things seemed desperate. Perhaps, just perhaps. She knew it would work this time as well as it worked last time though, but she had to try something, anything. But... She couldn't leave Chaosvolt and Ajwilli to their fate in the hospital. Comfort the injured before their inevitable death, or comfort herself by dancing like an idiot among the chiseled anger of Apathetics pet project?

"I'M SICK OF THIS SHIT!" screamed Apathetic as yet another beakdog appeared in the hall. The goblin was dead, the things keeping them in this hall, away from the real action, was the trickle of beakdogs coming to the sound of actual fighting. For the time being, Apathetic could hear the screams of the warrens livestock as it was butchered in the kobold's underground field. Her focus slipped and suddenly the silver tipped spear of a goblin found the side of her head. It sent her shell helmet flying from it's place on her skull, and sending a spray of blood flying from the deep gash in her skin. She lost hold of her shield (the fuck? how is apathetic using a shield AND a bow at the same time?) and in her pain what little concentration she had left was lost. The beakdog Apathetic had been fighting seizes the opening, grabbed her by the leg, and flung her across the room. "Fuck." She spits as the beak dog moves in to finish her off. "Ain't this the shit?" She says, rising to her feet. The beak dog is only feet from her now, it is the only creature to hear her last words. "Choke on it, you fuck."

Saltmummy feels it. That last burst of outraged fury, carrying through the warrens like a wave. Powerful in life, powerful in death. The warrens, and saltmummy, are rocked by the felt deaths of AJwilli, Perigrin, and Chaosvolt shortly after. Wilson has begun to fight alongside the others. A last defense against the butchers of stlaybur. Saltmummy spots the goblins giving chase after a group of kobold children and calls to them. It works, and for a time the goblins cease their pursuit of the helpless kobold pups to sneer at the strange kobold dressed in bones and decorated with so many cheap baubles. Some kind of crazy they think, until the kobold begins the chant and wave her hands. Simply a ruse, and attempt to frighten them off maybe. A prayer in reality. The goblins are more superstitious than the kobolds had been perceived to be though. "NECROMANCER!" one of them shouts, "GET HER QUICK!"

Wilson sees Saltmummies desperate play, it buys him time to fight back. He is sorry for having made fun of the poor shaman behind her back when the warrens were still young. He manages a few good hits, but he knows it's a fight he will not win.

Caconym wakes, and hearing the commotion above goes to investigate. Before he realizes what is happening, he is dead.

"I AM NOW CHIEFTAIN!" comes a call from across the warrens, shortly before the echos of the call fade, they are joined by the meaty "chunk" of an axe striking the back of a kobold skull. Another call goes up from the hospital, "NOW I AM CHIEFTAIN!!" followed by another meaty "chunk." A child grows into an adult, and is then killed.

                                                                                                                     
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And so ends the story of Stlayber. A bustling community of oddly skilled kobolds. A source of thousands of shell trinkets which will make their way around the world and the site of several of the worlds great wonders of kobold work, giving rise to scholarly discussion about the intelligence of the slinking folk and their eventual acceptance into the societies of the world. Stlayber ends in senseless slaughter, but in this it marks the beginning of a new era in kobold history.
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Special thanks to Apathetic for starting this succession, and also a special thanks to Random_Dragon for creating this mod which has helped to shine a new light on how I imagine/think about kobolds as a race. I'll pack up the save tomorrow for an intrepid adventurer to sally forth into our now goblin infested warren, if they so desire.

Oh.

Well. We died a good death. May the Stone Army protect our remains until someone is stupid enough to reclaim.

On a sort of related note, DF is one of the few games that runs well on my crap laptop, and I was getting all geared up to play this again. Salt, your suggestion for turns works much better than what we were doing, and makes it easier (for me, anyway) to get more done and play more without having to worry about RL.

So. Re-launch (though maybe not reclaim), anyone?

I would be down with another bold kamp, but TBH, I think we'd need to tweak things a little in order to actually make long term survival feasible. I mean, we had 3 more or less competent, experienced players here, plus Caconym (I kid ), and we made it what? 3 years? 4 years? Having access to something at least on par with bronze would help here. I mean, I suppose I could have used my turn to build an emergency bunker in the caverns instead of a useless statue army, but watching Bubba singlehandedly rip a minotaur apart kinda made me overestimate our forces.

Salt mentioned another overhaul mod. We could give that a go instead, too.

The other thought I had was that we could play mostly vanilla, with some super foe modded in or artificial difficulty applied because vanilla is generally too easy. Honestly, I really don't like mods for DF. KK was pretty cool because it completely changes how you play, and it sounds like the one Salt suggested is also something of an overhaul mod. Most mods just add a bunch more crap to an already fairly bloated game.