Now if you want something less heretical, I found this:

How is this alright? Because it's a pizza that comes with hotdogs, more specifically, pigs-in-a-blanket, and by "comes with" I mean that while they may be wrapped in the crust of the pizza, they are not actually ON the pizza, and so are not heretical. I don't like mustard though, but at least it isn't on the pizza. Not really a fan of the "pretzel" crust either.
I've been redirecting this thread back to the topic of pizza/heresy whenever it appeared to be drifting away from these two subjects.
Sounds to me like your trying to justify
HERESY!