Utterly Mad

You should buy a big romantic rubber fist to beat people with.

An interesting parallel has arisen today. People who buy lotto tickets, and people who buy scratch tickets. The people who play lotto and can't get their lotto tickets tend to be a bit down but otherwise "Oh... Ok..." about it. If a scratch player can't get their scratch tickets, it is an affront to themselves and god. A guy came in today demanding "two 10$ scratch tickets." To witch I said, "Oh, we don't sell the tickets here at the counter. We have a machine for that, but it's currently not working."A rational and normal human being would say something like "Oh, alright. I guess I'll come back later. Can you ring up these other things for me?" This jackass though... "What? Well fuck this place then. I'm not paying for all this overpriced shit if I can't get my fucking scratch tickets. That's the only reason to come to this dump, Fuck you." Another "fine" example of the scratch ticket player? The woman with her kid begging for a candy bar and a tiny bottle of sugar water while she is standing at the scratch machine buying tickets by the fucking armload. Hundreds of dollars in scratch tickets, only to find that she has won a grand total of 17$. The lotto players have a set number of tickets they buy and they don't go fucking apeshit with them. "I need one of each please. How much? 7$? Hey, I just won 5$ on one of these tickets, could you use my winning ticket to pay for part of that? Thanks! I'd also like this bottle of pale ale, this banana, and a pack of camel turkish royal cigarettes please. Thanks."

Let me spray my roll of quarters all over your dirty register you slut. <- I was thinking that while breaking open a roll of quarters today.