Utterly Mad

OR, I could send you one. Enabler that I am. It probably won't function properly. Probably. Tiny little semiautomatic pistol. Kinda of thing you could fit in a large wallet, or hide under your scrotum as a holdout when they search you at the casino. about four or five inches in length, holds 7 rounds plus 1 in the chamber. Tiny little german scrotum pistol filled with tiny little insect husks from those little worms that eat paper. OR, I could send you a .45 revolver with a slightly warped barrel. Every shot drifts hard to the left, so I don't use it anymore.

1. Wouldn't I need a license? 2. Is it legal to mail a firearm? And 3. Wouldn't my parents be super angry?
Minus all of these things I would take the revolver if I could.