Utterly Mad

inspired by a conversation me and Stopsignal had, post any insane, apeshit, awesome or funny stories of family and friends here. I'll start us off with the story of my friend cutting a good deal of his index finger off. he was trying to open a bottle of woodglue with a glass stopper in it. it wouldnt twist off, and he couldnt pull it off, so he decided that the smart course of action was to get a survival knife and pry it open. so, he was levering it open, the top popped off, and his hand slipped, and he GOUGED A MASSIVE SLASH into his finger. so, he drops it all, he is home alone, so what does he do? what, call someone? that would be smart/normal. no, he grabbed a bunch of paper towels, duct taped them to his hand, and sat on the couch staring at it until his mom got home 3 hours later. his bloodloss filled mind thought that his mom would be mad at him for making her come home from a meeting, so he didnt call. turns out he lost a MASSIVE (a pint i think?) amount of blood, and was barely awake. still has a nasty scar there. his mom had this to say about the whole ordeal. "so, you had the presence of mind to google how to make an improvised bandage for a large hand wound, make the bandage and apply it, and celan up the bloodspills, but not to call anyone?"

Speaking of loosing fingertips, years ago when we were children, my sister cut off the tip of her pinky finger while cutting potatoes for mashed potatoes.  She couldn't find the tip, so it presumably landed in the potatoes. 

We never found out who ended up eating Lady Fingers Mashed Potatoes that night.