« previous next »
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Down

Author Topic: Good life advice  (Read 1597 times)

0 Members and 3 Guests are viewing this topic.

  • Probably okay.
  • Admin
  • POST LORD
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,221
  • Dapperness +55/-55
  • It is what it is.
  • Location: England - Liverpool
    • View Profile
Good life advice
« on: March 30, 2015, 04:44:38 am »
Exactly what the title says, good advice to follow.
All guaranteed to improve your life.

Don't get hit by lightning.
Try not to get hit by a car.
Don't poke your eyes out, you need them to see the car.
Stab people you don't like.
« Last Edit: March 30, 2015, 05:26:11 am by SiegeLion »
Logged
Formerly SiegeLion

Sixposting INTENSIFIES
Quote from: A Blitzkrieg of Butts on March 23, 2016, 07:00:31 pm
leather made from foreskin.
Quote from: Wilson on August 19, 2016, 07:45:52 pm
yeah, i'd punch an old lady.
Quote from: Random_Dragon on November 03, 2016, 07:01:17 pm
Everything's gunpowder if you have enough oxidizer.
Quote from: Caconym on December 18, 2016, 01:40:36 pm
It can only mean the shenangularity.

Share on Bluesky Share on Facebook

Rhodri

  • Guest
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #1 on: March 30, 2015, 04:53:38 am »
Shove small animals up your intestine.
Logged

  • Probably okay.
  • Admin
  • POST LORD
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,221
  • Dapperness +55/-55
  • It is what it is.
  • Location: England - Liverpool
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #2 on: March 30, 2015, 05:18:49 am »
Ah yes, the old shove a hamster in your butt.

And don't forget kids, eat your apples.
OR THE DOCTOR WILL TAKE YOUR EYES.
Logged
Formerly SiegeLion

Sixposting INTENSIFIES
Quote from: A Blitzkrieg of Butts on March 23, 2016, 07:00:31 pm
leather made from foreskin.
Quote from: Wilson on August 19, 2016, 07:45:52 pm
yeah, i'd punch an old lady.
Quote from: Random_Dragon on November 03, 2016, 07:01:17 pm
Everything's gunpowder if you have enough oxidizer.
Quote from: Caconym on December 18, 2016, 01:40:36 pm
It can only mean the shenangularity.

  • Probably okay.
  • Admin
  • POST LORD
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,221
  • Dapperness +55/-55
  • It is what it is.
  • Location: England - Liverpool
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #3 on: March 30, 2015, 05:28:25 am »
Play Bad Rats for 72 hours straight.
Logged
Formerly SiegeLion

Sixposting INTENSIFIES
Quote from: A Blitzkrieg of Butts on March 23, 2016, 07:00:31 pm
leather made from foreskin.
Quote from: Wilson on August 19, 2016, 07:45:52 pm
yeah, i'd punch an old lady.
Quote from: Random_Dragon on November 03, 2016, 07:01:17 pm
Everything's gunpowder if you have enough oxidizer.
Quote from: Caconym on December 18, 2016, 01:40:36 pm
It can only mean the shenangularity.

Rhodri

  • Guest
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #4 on: March 30, 2015, 05:36:10 am »
Rip out all your teeth so you can't bite your tongue.
Logged

  • Probably okay.
  • Admin
  • POST LORD
  • *****
  • Posts: 2,221
  • Dapperness +55/-55
  • It is what it is.
  • Location: England - Liverpool
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #5 on: March 30, 2015, 05:55:04 am »
Cut your hands off so you don't masturbate and get sent to hell.
Logged
Formerly SiegeLion

Sixposting INTENSIFIES
Quote from: A Blitzkrieg of Butts on March 23, 2016, 07:00:31 pm
leather made from foreskin.
Quote from: Wilson on August 19, 2016, 07:45:52 pm
yeah, i'd punch an old lady.
Quote from: Random_Dragon on November 03, 2016, 07:01:17 pm
Everything's gunpowder if you have enough oxidizer.
Quote from: Caconym on December 18, 2016, 01:40:36 pm
It can only mean the shenangularity.

  • Full Member
  • ***
  • Posts: 180
  • Dapperness +4/-5
  • Location: Your mom's house.
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #6 on: March 30, 2015, 06:26:40 am »
Quote from: SiegeLion on March 30, 2015, 05:55:04 am
Cut your hands off so you don't masturbate and get sent to hell.
Go ahead and cut your dick off while you're at it. 
If you find a gun lying around someone's house check to make sure it's not loaded by looking down the barrel.  If it's too dark to see the tip of the bullet, trying disengaging the safety and pulling the trigger. 
Your immune system is like a muscle, it needs exercise to stay strong.  A good way to maintain a strong immune system is licking public toilet seats. 
STDs are a hoax, there really is no need to wear a condom when having sex with a hooker, even the $10/hr ones. 
Logged
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

  • Arcade Admin
  • Moderator
  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,548
  • Dapperness +18/-19
  • Ghey Shurk
  • Location: Dolan Springs, Arizona
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #7 on: March 30, 2015, 07:04:05 am »
Don't commit suicide, it's bad for your health!
Logged

  • POST LORD
  • **********
  • Posts: 2,312
  • Dapperness +15/-53
  • Location: i dunno man above ground
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #8 on: March 30, 2015, 08:50:47 am »
Don't open the door when there are two Military Mooks and a Robot outside it. You may have a bad time.
Logged
I am no longer legitimately considering leaving this forum

  • Newbie
  • *
  • Posts: 17
  • Dapperness +2/-0
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #9 on: March 30, 2015, 09:19:34 am »
A apple a day keeps the doctor away, so throw apples at your doctor if he ever trys to arrange a checkup, and if you see him on the street be sure to take your sock off, put an apple inside it and repeatedly beat him until he bleeds, and dont be scared to scream WHOS HEALTHY NOW BITCH, seriously just go bananas :')
Logged

  • Arcade Admin
  • Moderator
  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,548
  • Dapperness +18/-19
  • Ghey Shurk
  • Location: Dolan Springs, Arizona
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #10 on: March 30, 2015, 10:32:56 am »
Quote from: Element-C on March 30, 2015, 09:19:34 am
A apple a day keeps the doctor away, so throw apples at your doctor if he ever trys to arrange a checkup, and if you see him on the street be sure to take your sock off, put an apple inside it and repeatedly beat him until he bleeds, and dont be scared to scream WHOS HEALTHY NOW BITCH, seriously just go apples! :')
FTFY
Logged

  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *
  • Posts: 1,518
  • Dapperness +27/-65535
  • Cat of Conspiracy and Granola
  • Location: 1123 6536 5321
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #11 on: March 30, 2015, 10:55:35 am »
Does the apple a day include iphones?  :P
Logged
Quote from: Wilson on October 31, 2016, 01:14:56 pm
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
Quote from: Random_Dragon on August 10, 2016, 07:41:03 pm
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
Quote from: SiegeLion on September 28, 2015, 10:43:59 am
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Quote from: TheFunsizeNinja on September 21, 2015, 03:28:57 pm
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
Quote from: Super Level Furaotic on August 05, 2015, 07:29:21 am
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
Quote from: SiegeLion on April 11, 2015, 08:18:22 am
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Quote from: Six on July 12, 2016, 11:51:47 pm
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

  • Arcade Admin
  • Moderator
  • Postcount Generalissimo
  • *****
  • Posts: 1,548
  • Dapperness +18/-19
  • Ghey Shurk
  • Location: Dolan Springs, Arizona
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2015, 11:01:36 am »
Quote from: Caconym on March 30, 2015, 10:55:35 am
Does the apple a day include iphones?  :P
Nope just Apple employees.
Logged

  • POST LORD
  • **********
  • Posts: 2,312
  • Dapperness +20/-4
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #13 on: March 30, 2015, 11:30:54 pm »
If you have a gun and aren't actively using it keep the safety on.
Don't be a dick to the police, don't want more tickets
Don't keep sharp objects where you can easily fall on the blades
Don...oh wait, the title was sarcastic, at least from the advice...so do the opposite of all of this.
Logged

  • Hero Member
  • *****
  • Posts: 802
  • Dapperness +3/-0
  • His Lordship and King of Bats.
    • View Profile
Re: Good life advice
« Reply #14 on: March 30, 2015, 11:36:43 pm »
People taste like pork, question every porkchop you ever ate now.

 Also meat is murder, but its delicious.

Meat is murder is not a good TV show.

Alpacas are better snipers than mongooses.
Logged
Quote from: Perigrin on April 02, 2015, 11:25:09 pm
Jesus Exodus, your like an adorable little terrorball.
Pages: [1] 2 3   Go Up
« previous next »
 

NOCTIFER IS A FAGGOT