Author Topic: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)  (Read 3371 times)

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Rhodri

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The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« on: March 18, 2015, 04:15:02 am »
Make jokes or post other funny things here.

Ok, a joke. Hmm...

Ebola.
You probably won't get it.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #1 on: March 18, 2015, 04:24:50 am »
Whats the difference between a software engineer and a Drug Dealer?

Spoiler (hover to show)
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #2 on: March 18, 2015, 04:52:20 am »
How many Germans does it take to change a light bulb?

Only one. Because we're efficient and hate humour.
Sample Text

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #3 on: March 18, 2015, 08:00:46 am »
How many furries does it take to screw in a light bulb? 27. One to do it. Four to draw porn of it, and 22 to fap to the porn because they have a light bulb fetish.
Thanks Peri for making me question muh sexualities once again.
Utterly Mad, where various people self identify as kitchenware.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #4 on: March 18, 2015, 08:39:45 am »
It's 27 now? What is this some kind of inflation* for furries?


*the economic definition of inflation pls

Spoiler: the original from the OTHER forum (hover to show)


Here's something of a favourite of mine:
--------------------------------------
Spoiler: wall'o'text ahead (hover to show)
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #5 on: March 19, 2015, 12:15:19 am »
Awesome, glad to see someone carried my thread over from the DDA forums, I was actually planning to create the thread when I got home from work, but it looks like someone beat me to it. 

I'll lead off with some of my favorites: 





Part I



Part II



Part I



Part II
« Last Edit: March 19, 2015, 12:20:30 am by HunterAlpha1 »
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #6 on: March 19, 2015, 04:20:33 am »
A man in his 60's married a woman in her 20's, and was trying for a baby. For months, there was no result, so the man went to his doctor for a sperm count. The doctor said, "Fill up this specimen jar up, and bring it to me tomorrow." And so the man leaves.
The next day, the man comes back with an empty jar and says to the doctor, "It didn't work."
"What didn't work?" The doctor said.
"Well,I was trying it with my right hand, but it didn't work, and so I tried it with my left hand. It still didn't work. So my wife tried with her right hand and it didn't work, her left hand, it didn't work. She even tried with her mouth, and it still didn't work. When her friend came over, she tried with both her hands, even her mouth,and it didn't work."
The doctor is dazed. "Your...wife's....friend?!"
"Yup.We couldn't get the lid off."
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #7 on: March 20, 2015, 03:21:04 pm »
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #8 on: March 20, 2015, 04:48:42 pm »
I made up one the other day.

What do you call a pagan who's not very into his religion?
Spoiler (hover to show)

If you didn't get it...here's an explanation.
Spoiler (hover to show)
Jesus Exodus, your like an adorable little terrorball.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #9 on: March 20, 2015, 05:49:50 pm »
I was driving down the motorway and someone rang me up on my mobile to say that I'd been promoted to a director. I was in such a shock that I skidded to the left. Later, they rang back and said that I was now the managing director, so I veered the car to the right. Finally, they rang up and said that I was the chairman, and I drove right into the hard shoulder.

Yes, I'd careered off the road
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #10 on: March 20, 2015, 06:19:05 pm »
Q: Why don't pirates play poker? 
A: Because the're always standing on the deck.
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

Rhodri

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #11 on: March 20, 2015, 06:37:40 pm »
Q: Why don't pirates play poker? 
A: Because the're always standing on the deck.
The large deck, looking up at Uranus.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #12 on: March 21, 2015, 05:50:53 am »
A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches. When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that the poor guy has tried practically every therapy known to man for his migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the doc, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school, but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took our advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for 17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "You have a REALLY nice house
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #13 on: March 23, 2015, 06:35:35 am »
The path to Liberty is not always a legal one.

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Re: The Daily Funnies! (Jokes and other funny stuff)
« Reply #14 on: March 23, 2015, 08:53:43 am »
What did the North Tower say to the South Tower?

I'll talk to you later. I have to catch a plane.
I'd fucking drop kick an old lady, no questions asked.
I am always right when shark dicks are involved.
If it's not interrogation porn then it's poorly named and a missed opportunity.
Well, if you think about it, rape is for fun.
if utterly mad was any gayer, i'd shop here
I'd rather circumcise myself in a public place.
Eh, I don't really find anyone's sig too unreasonable. Though Caconym's is almost unreasonable

 

NOCTIFER IS A FAGGOT