Author Topic: The necromancer gestures, the beaten dead horse moves [salties AMA] (Read 5002 times)

ApatheticExcuse · « **Reply #15 on:** August 12, 2016, 06:08:47 pm »

Who would win in a gladiator style fight to the death, your Lich-ness, or a random Dragon?

Just for curiosity sake, no other reason like future plans or anything.

Six · « **Reply #16 on:** August 12, 2016, 08:16:20 pm »

Who would win in a fight, a baby with a gun or a sentient gun with a baby?

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #17 on:** August 14, 2016, 04:58:38 pm »

Quote from: ApatheticExcuse on August 12, 2016, 06:08:47 pm

Who would win in a gladiator style fight to the death, your Lich-ness, or a random Dragon?

Just for curiosity sake, no other reason like future plans or anything.

It would be a close fight, and neither side would come out any better than they went in. I'm inclined to say the lich, as long as the dragon can't find and destroy it's phylactery. Otherwise, a lich is practically immortal. On the other hand, random dragons are incredibly unpredictable.

Quote from: Six on August 12, 2016, 08:16:20 pm

Who would win in a fight, a baby with a gun or a sentient gun with a baby?

Sentient gun with baby. A baby with a gun is just a baby, and babies are dumb as hell. A sentient gun on the other hand knows exactly what it's supposed to be doing. That being said though, the gun is just sentient. It's not like it can move or even tell the baby what to do, unless we are talking "the one ring" sentience.

Wheel-Son · « **Reply #18 on:** August 14, 2016, 05:47:09 pm »

yer dum

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #19 on:** August 14, 2016, 08:46:50 pm »

Quote from: Wilson on August 14, 2016, 05:47:09 pm

yer dum

No u.

Caconym · « **Reply #20 on:** August 15, 2016, 03:12:59 pm »

Are you a mummy made of salt or are you a mummy that's salty about the whole dying and mummification thing?

guest48 · « **Reply #21 on:** August 15, 2016, 04:07:41 pm »

So what were you doing with that jockstrap?

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #22 on:** August 15, 2016, 09:15:48 pm »

Quote from: Caconym on August 15, 2016, 03:12:59 pm

Are you a mummy made of salt or are you a mummy that's salty about the whole dying and mummification thing?

Neither. Salt mummification is the best. Most liches have to deal with their bodies dying, rotting away, and then the constant hassle of trying to hold a skeleton together. My body on the other hand was mummified in the traditional Gulgathan manner using a salt mixture called "natron." It's a method we borrowed from the egyptians, but we usually cover our mummies in a layer of red clay as they mummify and we don't extract the organs. I just had to sit around in my little ball, wait the few months the process took, and then I could retake control and move it around. The only drawback is that everything tastes of salt.

Quote from: Mrnocamera on August 15, 2016, 04:07:41 pm

So what were you doing with that jockstrap?

Jockstrap is actually very effective at holding the pelvis together while stitching new legs onto a test subject. I prefer them to other binding because they have just enough coverage while also providing easy access to the joints. I could use duct tape, but duct tape is a lot harder to remove from necrotic material once the work is done.

ApatheticExcuse · « **Reply #23 on:** August 15, 2016, 10:41:43 pm »

Quote from: saltmummy626 on August 15, 2016, 09:15:48 pm

Quote from: Caconym on August 15, 2016, 03:12:59 pm
Are you a mummy made of salt or are you a mummy that's salty about the whole dying and mummification thing?
Neither. Salt mummification is the best. Most liches have to deal with their bodies dying, rotting away, and then the constant hassle of trying to hold a skeleton together. My body on the other hand was mummified in the traditional Gulgathan manner using a salt mixture called "natron." It's a method we borrowed from the egyptians, but we usually cover our mummies in a layer of red clay as they mummify and we don't extract the organs. I just had to sit around in my little ball, wait the few months the process took, and then I could retake control and move it around. The only drawback is that everything tastes of salt.

So, wouldn't your corporeal form be destroyed by fire pretty easily? Such as that readily available from matches or found in the boiler of 19th century trains?

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #24 on:** August 16, 2016, 03:19:51 pm »

Quote from: ApatheticExcuse on August 15, 2016, 10:41:43 pm

Quote from: saltmummy626 on August 15, 2016, 09:15:48 pm
Quote from: Caconym on August 15, 2016, 03:12:59 pm
Are you a mummy made of salt or are you a mummy that's salty about the whole dying and mummification thing?
Neither. Salt mummification is the best. Most liches have to deal with their bodies dying, rotting away, and then the constant hassle of trying to hold a skeleton together. My body on the other hand was mummified in the traditional Gulgathan manner using a salt mixture called "natron." It's a method we borrowed from the egyptians, but we usually cover our mummies in a layer of red clay as they mummify and we don't extract the organs. I just had to sit around in my little ball, wait the few months the process took, and then I could retake control and move it around. The only drawback is that everything tastes of salt.

So, wouldn't your corporeal form be destroyed by fire pretty easily? Such as that readily available from matches or found in the boiler of 19th century trains?

Yes. It's happened before. It's not so bad though, I just release the body and have one of my minions hide my phylactary in with some trinkets and treasure. Eventually some idiot will find it and make the mistake of touching it. After that, it's a slow process of destroying their mind with dreams or visions and displacing their soul. Unfortunately it does mean that I lose a lot of time. Especially if no one comes treasure hunting for awhile. The best was that wizard though. I didn't even hide the phylactary. He just wandered in to my lair looking for the secrets of life and death. He found me instead. Moron knew exactly what the little silver ball in the ivory box was right away and STILL tried to grab it. XD It didn't take much to seize control either. That was in the days before I could get volunteers though.

The short answer is, yeah. Liches are physically weak and magically strong. Destroying our physical bodies is fairly easy once you get through all the wards and protections.

guest48 · « **Reply #25 on:** August 16, 2016, 05:34:04 pm »

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #26 on:** August 16, 2016, 09:47:29 pm »

Quote from: Mrnocamera on August 16, 2016, 05:34:04 pm

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie pop?

How ever many it takes to get bored of licking it and just biting it instead.

Wheel-Son · « **Reply #27 on:** August 16, 2016, 11:06:41 pm »

Oi, salt mummy, do you like gals with sixpacks?

saltmummy626 · « **Reply #28 on:** August 17, 2016, 01:59:05 am »

Quote from: Wilson on August 16, 2016, 11:06:41 pm

Oi, salt mummy, do you like gals with sixpacks?

As long as she has a nice face and a nice attitude. Hell the nice face is optional too. If you are ugly/fat/both but have a good attitude, you're alright and deserve to have someone. If you are ugly/fat/both AND are a bitch, I'm sorry but you are going to die alone.

To answer your question though wilson, yeah sure. Especially if it's a six pack of Dr. Pepper. Dr. Pepper is the favored drink of undead necromancers. Right up there next to the contents of an estus flask (estus, also known as Sunny D), and vitreous humor.

Six · « **Reply #29 on:** August 17, 2016, 03:24:12 pm »

Sunny D is the drink of true MVPs.

Utterly Mad

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Author Topic: The necromancer gestures, the beaten dead horse moves [salties AMA] (Read 5002 times)

ApatheticExcuse

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Six

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saltmummy626

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Wheel-Son

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saltmummy626

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Caconym

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guest48

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saltmummy626

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ApatheticExcuse

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saltmummy626

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guest48

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saltmummy626

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Wheel-Son

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saltmummy626

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Six

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