Utterly Mad

speaking of salt, I'm salty as hell. I hate it when they invade and then fucking run away when they start losing.
I was playing DS2 last night and some guy called datesh or dastesh invaded in the shaded wood. I get invaded there all the time. After about a minute of running around looking for each other, we finally meet in the main area. We stop, take the time to greet each other, and then the fight starts. I've got the scorpion stinger, he has the generic falchion. The standard of circling and rolling occurs for awhile and he manages to land a hit. The damage is respectable but not something I can't manage. His weapon is dealing a bit of bleed damage, fortunately my bleed res is high. After awhile, he applies fire to his sword, I stand back and let him do it as my fire res is also high and so I'm not really concerned about it. I take a moment to point at him while he does it. The fight resumes and goes on so long that his fire buff wears off. Over the course of that, I've been poking him with my poison sword and throwing toxic clouds in his face. He has a sliver of health left and I can see it steadily decreasing. He backs off and then fucking disconnects.

I had to heal twice in the fight, he didn't heal at all. What I think happened is, he decided to invade seeing I had a two hander and that golden armor you get from Velstadt equipped and expected a quick easy fight with a big slow fatty which he expected to bring down by bleeding it to death. Velstadts armor is not heavy and it's physical resistances are all fairly high, especially it's slash resistance.  I use the two hander for PVE combat only as normal enemies are simple to fight and can usually be brought down with one or two hits from what I'm packing. When I get invaded, I switch to the much quicker scorpion stinger so as to deal chip damage along with heaping helpings of annoying poison to annoying invaders. He wanted an easy kill, all he got was a DPS race and a sore ass from losing that race. I hate it when they waste my time like that.

As a note, I usually lose invasions. Players are tricky and unpredictable, and I am not usually a patient man.
Wish I had scholar of the first sin...

Scholar of the First Sin is pretty fun, I need to finish it.
Also, I am rocking a miracle build in dark souls 3, invading people and gently reminding them about the power of the fucking sun.
And alt f4 fucks are literally the worse. Literally Hitler.

So, I might've accidentally started an adventurer in the middle of a fucking ocean.

leeel. I've done that before, horrifying.

In all honesty, I disconnect the internet when I go into the rat king areas, grave of saints and doors of pharros. Dishonorable I know, but the constant flow of invasions and broken armor/weapons pisses me off. I joined the bell keeper covenant just so I wouldn't have to deal with bell keepers. Win or lose though, if someone is going to invade me they should have the decency to either wreck my shit or die with some dignity.

The first time I encountered the "bell humpers" as you so eloquently call them, I defeated a single invader only to have two more appear the instant he was gone. I managed to kick of on them off the top of the ladder leading to the top of the tower only to have the other one step over his body and gang up on me with the little fuckers running around up there. The second time I encountered them was right away as I was headed back to get my souls. I was invaded the instant I stepped into the belfry and was hammered with greater soul arrows until I got thrown off the bridge at the entrance.

And now to see whether giving a civilization underground biome tokens causes even more derp.

I reinstalled rust today and got blown up by a landmine on one of the official servers. The land mine is besides the point, performance is the point.
It's better than what it was last time I tried to play. That was before the lady models were rolled out. I didn't get hit by the reroll and still have my big headed angry black man with baby arms. Doesn't matter. I killed a pig, which I couldn't do due to performance before.

Any of you who are more knowledgeable about DS2 than me, Is there an item or equipment combo that lets you hit someone from across a room with your barehands while giving the broken guard stagger effect with each attack without reducing their stamina, even when they aren't blocking AND you can do all that without even looking at them? Cuz I was just walking through Heides tower of flame and some guy wearing the Havel set with a gyrm helmet did all that shit until switching to some pitchfork which he used to poison me, break all of my equipment, and reduce both stamina and health down to 0 in two hits.

That is the only explicable part, rest was using the cheat engine.