Author Topic: The necromancer gestures, the beaten dead horse moves [salties AMA]  (Read 5002 times)

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  • God Teir
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Is it just me, or did I totally forget to actually post a picture of the horse?
Gone. Cheers guys.

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you did in fact, forget to post a picture of the horse.I just thought you wanted me to be creative with an answer.
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
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Whats your zombie apocalypse team/plan?
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Whats your zombie apocalypse team/plan?
It's not one of my experiments, mine are all shot and incinerated when they aren't needed anymore or the experiment is complete. Unlike less professional necromancers, I don't keep old experiments in cages or locked up in cells. You're asking for trouble if you keep them around. I also don't create large numbers of the damn things. That's the mistake most necromancers make, they create large uncontrollable hordes of undead and then they have an angry pitchfork wielding mob shoving torches up their asses. No, not mine.

I need neither team nor plan as life will continue as usual. It will be easier to get materials though, so I guess I can dedicate more time to my work. Won't have anyone to perform R&D for me though... except the survivors...
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

  • God Teir
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Wait, are you saying a mere gun can defeat any of your minions?
Gone. Cheers guys.

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Wait, are you saying a mere gun can defeat any of your minions?
Sure, half of them are just bones held together with wire, magic, and willpower while the other half are living agents. I would advise against shooting my living agents though, they have families to feed and their insurance doesn't cover being shot. Being eaten or dismembered, yes. Bullets, no. Now, a skeleton is fairly difficult to destroy with a gun, it's a skeleton after all. The zombies are harder to bring down with a gun because of how dense and meaty they are. They can take a lot of punishment, but they are far too clumsy to be of any use to me.

You should have no reason to be shooting any of my minions as I don't have them commit atrocities in my name. Except grave robbing.
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

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Isn't that just a more somber form of larceny?
Gone. Cheers guys.

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Isn't that just a more somber form of larceny?
Larceny and mutilation of grave remains, if you damage the body in some way. It's illegal to mutilate grave remains, but it's perfectly fine to own them. That's the loophole my men have been getting by on for awhile now.
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

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Is it legal in your jurisdiction to mutilate cheerful remains?
Gone. Cheers guys.

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Is it legal in your jurisdiction to mutilate cheerful remains?
No. As a result, I can do pretty much whatever I want with whatever remains I wish as long as I don't intentionally damage them. Oddly enough, this also includes painting them but not plating them. It still illegal to steal them though. Theft is theft, and digging/toppling a grave is a major offense.

side note, failed/successful experiments are reburied when they are no longer useful.
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

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Are you eligible for life insurance?
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I... don't know.
*existential crisis*
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

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How about after life insurance?
Quote from: Soviet Commissar (COD WaW)
Abandon you post, abandon your homes, abandon all hope!

Quote from: Alice Margatroid
Bitch,get out of the way!

Quote from: Fujiwara no Mokou link=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YIDxZMMjNTA
With the power of a phoenix I can proudly say everything is hand-grilled!!!

Quote from: Liberty Prime
Obstruction detected. Composition: Titanium alloy supplemented by photonic resonance barrier. Probability of mission hindrance...0%!

...I wish for airborne rabies.

Granted. A giant box full of bats appears on your doorstep...

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How about after life insurance?
I can answer that one, and the answer is no. My original body is long gone, and after life insurance only covers an individuals original body. Actually, I suppose I could insure my phylactery. It would be a real work around of the system of course.
I'm really just a sexy skeleton in a suit.
Fingering techniques are very important
Quote from: Six
Using guns while sober? Sounds like you're a coward.
Yes, little hats for every noodle.
Everyone is forks it seems.
"Everything is fucked forever, and ever, and ever." -Forrest 2016

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Wadda bout unlife insurance?
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