Utterly Mad

Oh, and for all of you CDDA people out there of who have been around a while, you might catch that an old RP of mine has managed to make it into my stories. I always wanted to do something with it!

Alright I ain't using the template for one main reason, I took it upon myself to become your editor and edit grammatical mistakes, "Enough the make SLAM quit her hero yammering." To, "Enough too make SLAM quit her hero yammering."

As well as changing one of the VIRUS's words to ALL CAPS since you made him sound like he's a new model.

I've only made it to chapter to, but I ****ing love SLAM, and the whole adware and her getting infected is way too clever to just be a simple internet on an obscure forum. I really love it.

But if I had one complaint, it'd be with Amy's beginning, if you meant for the dream sequence to be confusing, then you did it right... or I might just be a person who can't see abstract things in word form (even when I write it). But from my interpretation after reading: She dreamt that she was on Mars or on a place equally far away from humanity, that was alien enough for her to escape her troubles. But when she looks around her, she realizes its all just an illusion or a farce, the skies are a sickly dull color with no real light, and below her feet is just a mirror image of herself that "pulls" her down to reality.

Once in reality, she views the company or The Man, she works for to be something Lovecraftian, something viewed as unholy for someone of her position until she realizes that she is slowly becoming that monster. Either that or it was about depression, or some other affliction.

I'm getting into the Jak portion of the story, but I personally feel that I should read each character's full stories (that are currently written), and just view each character as its own Book, then when you read them all you can read the connections between the three more easily.

But so far, I'm loving it, and I might give my Highway story another go, but I might make it more of a character study instead of rehashing the "group goes on wacky" adventures.

I've gone through the story section by section reading it aloud, so I've probably caught a lot of the mistakes you've already highlighted but I will definitely re-check them and take your edits in! Thank you for taking that step for me! I'll check out that VIRUS change and see if that's what I'm going for since I'm not quite sure where/when that is.

I'm glad you're loving SLAM! Everyone else who I've had read it over each revision can come to agree that it's their favorite story. I believe that's because it's my favorite to write.

As for Amy, that's a very interesting interpretation and I'm not going to lead on or detail whether you're onto something or you're off. I'm glad to hear what you think it means because it does show me what people, those looking for meaning, are going to think about the beginning. I've had some 4-5 people read it so far and none found it "Confusing", if you mean confusing in a 'I don't understand what he's writing about and I don't know how any of these paragraphs relate to one another' kind of way. As a surreal dream of sorts, it is meant to be unrealistic and confusing in a, 'wow, none of this should be possible' kind of way. This feedback is useful because I now know more about what that section means.

The glory of PULP is that it is possible to read each story on its own. I won't spoil anything later on but it's entirely possible to surpass the big connection between them all and just focus on the stories individually without getting hung up on the big scheme of things. I personally recommend reading in order of how the story is written and get to stories when you get to them, but it's entirely up to the reader's choice.

Glad you're loving it! I guess this means you're not quite finished so I'm excited to hear more back. If you do something more with Highway, I'll definitely give you feedback as well since you've been a nice help.

Quote from: Super Level Furaotic on July 25, 2015, 10:10:46 pm

Quote from: ajwilli1 on July 25, 2015, 08:57:49 pm

Alright I ain't using the template for one main reason, I took it upon myself to become your editor and edit grammatical mistakes, "Enough the make SLAM quit her hero yammering." To, "Enough too make SLAM quit her hero yammering."

As well as changing one of the VIRUS's words to ALL CAPS since you made him sound like he's a new model.

I've only made it to chapter to, but I ****ing love SLAM, and the whole adware and her getting infected is way too clever to just be a simple internet on an obscure forum. I really love it.

But if I had one complaint, it'd be with Amy's beginning, if you meant for the dream sequence to be confusing, then you did it right... or I might just be a person who can't see abstract things in word form (even when I write it). But from my interpretation after reading: She dreamt that she was on Mars or on a place equally far away from humanity, that was alien enough for her to escape her troubles. But when she looks around her, she realizes its all just an illusion or a farce, the skies are a sickly dull color with no real light, and below her feet is just a mirror image of herself that "pulls" her down to reality.

Once in reality, she views the company or The Man, she works for to be something Lovecraftian, something viewed as unholy for someone of her position until she realizes that she is slowly becoming that monster. Either that or it was about depression, or some other affliction.

I'm getting into the Jak portion of the story, but I personally feel that I should read each character's full stories (that are currently written), and just view each character as its own Book, then when you read them all you can read the connections between the three more easily.

But so far, I'm loving it, and I might give my Highway story another go, but I might make it more of a character study instead of rehashing the "group goes on wacky" adventures.

As for Amy, that's a very interesting interpretation and I'm not going to lead on or detail whether you're onto something or you're off. I'm glad to hear what you think it means because it does show me what people, those looking for meaning, are going to think about the beginning. I've had some 4-5 people read it so far and none found it "Confusing", if you mean confusing in a 'I don't understand what he's writing about and I don't know how any of these paragraphs relate to one another' kind of way. As a surreal dream of sorts, it is meant to be unrealistic and confusing in a, 'wow, none of this should be possible' kind of way. This feedback is useful because I now know more about what that section means.

Confusing in the surreal abstract dream sense, for some reason my brain kinda muddles words together and so I have to reread certain paragraphs 8 or 9 times before it clicks. That's the glory of dysleixa for ya' folks, you try to make a career out of reading and writing, when you can't read or write properly yourself.

[Also here's AJs secret, he right clicks words with the red line underneath him to auto-correct it. Yep, that's right, AJ is a fraud boo him.]

Okay that makes sense. If you found difficulty in understanding things I'll make the effort to make things a bit easier to understand with descriptions and what not. I've got to keep the abstractness though but I'll see what I can do to make that section easier.

Quote from: Super Level Furaotic on July 25, 2015, 10:31:09 pm

Quote from: ajwilli1 on July 25, 2015, 10:24:41 pm

Quote from: Super Level Furaotic on July 25, 2015, 10:10:46 pm

Quote from: ajwilli1 on July 25, 2015, 08:57:49 pm

Alright I ain't using the template for one main reason, I took it upon myself to become your editor and edit grammatical mistakes, "Enough the make SLAM quit her hero yammering." To, "Enough too make SLAM quit her hero yammering."

As well as changing one of the VIRUS's words to ALL CAPS since you made him sound like he's a new model.

I've only made it to chapter to, but I ****ing love SLAM, and the whole adware and her getting infected is way too clever to just be a simple internet on an obscure forum. I really love it.

But if I had one complaint, it'd be with Amy's beginning, if you meant for the dream sequence to be confusing, then you did it right... or I might just be a person who can't see abstract things in word form (even when I write it). But from my interpretation after reading: She dreamt that she was on Mars or on a place equally far away from humanity, that was alien enough for her to escape her troubles. But when she looks around her, she realizes its all just an illusion or a farce, the skies are a sickly dull color with no real light, and below her feet is just a mirror image of herself that "pulls" her down to reality.

Once in reality, she views the company or The Man, she works for to be something Lovecraftian, something viewed as unholy for someone of her position until she realizes that she is slowly becoming that monster. Either that or it was about depression, or some other affliction.

I'm getting into the Jak portion of the story, but I personally feel that I should read each character's full stories (that are currently written), and just view each character as its own Book, then when you read them all you can read the connections between the three more easily.

But so far, I'm loving it, and I might give my Highway story another go, but I might make it more of a character study instead of rehashing the "group goes on wacky" adventures.

As for Amy, that's a very interesting interpretation and I'm not going to lead on or detail whether you're onto something or you're off. I'm glad to hear what you think it means because it does show me what people, those looking for meaning, are going to think about the beginning. I've had some 4-5 people read it so far and none found it "Confusing", if you mean confusing in a 'I don't understand what he's writing about and I don't know how any of these paragraphs relate to one another' kind of way. As a surreal dream of sorts, it is meant to be unrealistic and confusing in a, 'wow, none of this should be possible' kind of way. This feedback is useful because I now know more about what that section means.

Confusing in the surreal abstract dream sense, for some reason my brain kinda muddles words together and so I have to reread certain paragraphs 8 or 9 times before it clicks. That's the glory of dysleixa for ya' folks, you try to make a career out of reading and writing, when you can't read or write properly yourself.

[Also here's AJs secret, he right clicks words with the red line underneath him to auto-correct it. Yep, that's right, AJ is a fraud boo him.]

Okay that makes sense. If you found difficulty in understanding things I'll make the effort to make things a bit easier to understand with descriptions and what not. I've got to keep the abstractness though but I'll see what I can do to make that section easier.

Oh darling you don't have to do that!

Watch me.

Coming back to this, I've realized I skipped a huge chunk in Amy! Amy has already been written rather far, so I've been simply making adjustments and then copy and pasting what I've already written, but it seems I jumped the gun on a part! I have a new version coming out soonish and that error is fixed. I'll also give a list of things that have been changed.

I will wait for the changelog before I continue onwards. Nah, I'm just kidding. I've been reading the Jax chapter while playing DF.

PULP.11 is complete!

The following changes have been made:

The title of Amy Part One has been changed
An important plot element has been added to SLAM Part One R3B007
Amy Part Two The Ceo is now truly about The Ceo
E-V-E has been cut from the story
Amy Part Three Infectious (Which was accidentally Part Two) is now available.
Various grammar fixes courtesy of AJ and myself.

Just finished reading the latest version, damn good, damn, damn good.