Utterly Mad

The trick for Forge Welding is to tell the metal, in a stern voice, that you are the boss and it will obey your commands.

I held a spoon over a candle.

I was 7.

I was like, "Oh, it can't be hot!"

I put the spoon to my lips (Because that's like, how you test if some food is hot amirite)

Burned the top of my lip and left a scab for a few weeks. Not my brightest moment.

The trick for Forge Welding is to tell the metal, in a stern voice, that you are the boss and it will obey your commands.

This kind of shit wouldn't happen if I was a dwarf...

Speaking of this, I set myself on fire again today while making charcoal. Be wary of wood gasses, for they can be explosive. I'm fine though, rain and wet grass serve just as well as a hose or bucket of water.

That is actually kind of funny max. Not that you hit your head or any of that bit, just the image of people getting half way through helping someone get up and suddenly going "fuck it" and dropping him/her.

I used to quite frequently get hit by cars, busses and trucks because I couldn't be bothered to walk across the road any faster, I mean I figured if it hit me and killed me then that was my time to die and that was okay, never did kill me, rarely even injured me, just bruises and scrapes, so I figure it never was my time to die.

Bunch of viking warriors up in here. "Todays a good day to die, VALHALLA!"

I've been hit a few time's but that was less "meh" and more "oh look, the shit lords that bullied me in highschool have just rolled their van onto my steel toe boot. Oh look, now they are sticking their heads out the window and laughing. I wonder if they will see this rock hurtling towards the rear window of their shitty pedophile van?" On one of the three occasions, it was just negligence on the part of the driver.

My first serious injury was near the age of 6/8 or so, there was a birthday cake on a glass table and somehow I ended up tripping, breaking the glass table with my face, and only getting left with a scar under my right eyebrow (even though my face was peppered with glass)
My second serious injury was me just being stupid and doing tricks with knives, so I threw my knife up in the air expecting to catch it and missed, only for it to land in my left shoulder  where I still have a scar to this day.
in the middle I had a few more small knife accidents including one getting stuck in the back of my left hand and me stupidly trying to see if my knife is sharp by giving myself a cut on the palm...
My third and most serous injury was around the age of 15 where I was in a swimming pool with my MMA friends and I thought it was a great idea to try and scare my friend by popping out of the water behind him after a small dive, so in the midst of being underwater the second I was about to come out of the water another friend jumped into the pool, as he didn't see me he landed with both of his feet and all body weight on the top of my neck, the back down area of the head, where I had a few of the top spinal pieces half smashed and my spinal cord was in danger of being damaged if I moved my neck to the sides too much, I had surgery to repair the damage and a month and a half in hospital because of it, and on till this day I still have horrible aches in that area and stiff muscles that were damaged at the same time then (4 years ago), I also had a strong addiction from all the meds I had to take from the time.

NECRO BITCH

I stubbed my toe so hard I still can't feel it six years later.

Made myself a permanent scar on my left thumb by getting a real deep cut trying to make a bow from a branch that ended up being hallow from termites...fml